So I have been thinking a lot lately about an issue with DH that drives me nuts. I'll just start with what happened this morning after DH took off from work with SS(5).

I got up and got ready for work and then proceeded to wake the kids up. SD(7) and my BD(7) got up just fine and got dressed. When I went to wake up SS(5) he just laid there, ignored my request, and kept sleeping. Now in the mornings I don't have time for this so I walked out into the kitchen packed my lunch, made coffee, and got the girls their breakfast. I went back into SS's room and tried to get him up again. Again he lays there and ignores me. I literally had to pull his balnkets off of him, pull him out of bed, and set him on the floor in front of his dresser. As soon as I let go he just flopped over and tried to go back to sleep or as I refer to it, not listen. At that point I told him that if he couldn't manage to get up and get dressed that he was going to lose his movie in bed and go to bed early because he obviously didn't get enough sleep last night. That was when I finally got a resonpse out of him. Did he get himself dressed? I have no clue because DH came home right after that to pick up both SD and SS to take them to daycare. He asked me where SS was and I told him about my efforts of trying to get SS up which DH thought was funny. He went back into SS's room and I'm assuming helped pick out his clothes and made him get dressed. DH came out of SS's room and stood at the end of the hallway and asked SS to come and eat breakfast. Did SS come to eat breakfast? Nope. So DH asks him repeatedly to come and eat breakfast with still no response from SS. Finally DH has to yell at him to come and eat in order to get him to listen which worked.

SS comes down the hallway and climbs up in his chair and sits there with an evil little glare on his face. When I tried to explain to him that if the girls acted that way they would go bed early and lose their movie in bed I got the if looks could kill I'd be dead look from him. I started to talk to DH about it and of course he thinks it's funny and starts laughing right in front of SS. I actually had to tell him that it's not funny and that he starts kindergarten this year I can't afford for him to act this way in the morning when I have a job I have to get to by a certain time. At that point DH started to take me seriously.

DH pours a bowl of cereal and asks SS to eat his breakfast. No response from SS. He just sits in his chair with his evil glare and doesn't move or say a thing. Finally I told DH that was it. He is obviously so tiered that he can't even act nice or listen and that he lost his movie and is going to bed early which DH agreed with.

Now DH has a problem getting caught up in these power struggles and will ask the kid to do things repeatedly until he finally has to yell in order to get a response. He doesn't quite get the concept of him being an adult the kids are children so instead of watching him ask SS repeatedly to eat his breakfast I told he already asked and if SS chose to not eat then he could go to daycare hungry. His choice. DH shouldn't have to beg, yell, or bribe his son into listening.

It just drives me insane. It was the same thing last night when he asked his son to pick up the game he got out. He would ask. His son would look at him and then turn around and ignore him over and over again. When SS finally did listen, instead of just putting the game back in the box and putting the box away he had to do it his way. I know it sounds wierd and I should just be happy that he fianlly listened but it's like he does it because, yay he's going to listen but he's still going to have control over the situation and in his eyes technially win the power struggle with DH because instead of doing it immediately like he was asked he's going to do it on his time. He does the same thing with time outs. DH will ask him go and stand some where in the house but instead of standing there he'll go to some place within the general area. It's the, "I'll do what you want the way that I want to do it." He would never let his daughter get away with that type of behavior. I'm not asking him to dominate his son. But this kid gets away with murder and if you ask a child to do something they don't want to do they still need to listen.

I think that he is creating a little monster in the making if he can't get his son to understand that he needs to listen, not yell at DH, quit stomping off when he doesn't get his way, and so forth. SS isn't a bad kid, but he can't/won't listen to save his life and it's like that everyday. I'm tired of watching the outright disrespect towards DH and the fact that SS thinks that it's okay to just ignore an adult and have power struggles with them. He literally will not listen to DH until DH finally has to yell at him.

What do you guys think? Am I seeing the situation correctly here? Are they power struggles? I have never had this type of a problem with my BD. She knows that she needs to listen. I may have ask her more than once occasionally but I never have to yell to get her to listen to me.