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Losing Privileges and the lump.

unbelieveable's picture

So...I am trying really hard to make my fsd9 understand that little things need to be appreciated. I've been trying to make this point for a long time now but this weekend she just really ticked me off. She is selfish, manipulative, spoiled, nosey, and always has to be the center of attention, she thinks everyone HAS to do everything for her. We've been really good though for several months. Just when I thought our relationship was getting better...I decided to work from home while they were here and their dad was cutting grass and working around the house - every 10 minutes she would yell for him. After the second time I finally turned around and said I am RIGHT HERE. ASK ME. You never had an issue with it before - DDDAAADDD! I want my dad! - she wanted a pencil? She wanted a drink? These were all things he told her she could do by herself. She didn't need either one of us - it just really ticked me off she was refusing to listen to me or ask for anything all weekend? So she asked me if I'd paint her nails. I french manicured her toes in pink and purple...and even put a glitter line and some decals on them and I was pretty impressed with my abilities- of course I was taking time out of my work to do this...just a few hours later...she picked off her nailpolish which she never does anymore unless she's trying to tick me off. So I decided I would take away her computer privileges to make her understand she needs to appreciate things.

The next morning she goes straight for my laptop. I said, "sd9 - because you did not appreciate the time I took away from working yesterday to paint your nails - you have lost computer privileges for the rest of the weekend..." She pouts. DH walks in and says what is wrong with you? She then says I will not let her use my computer. I tell him why - and HE got mad at ME? Are you kidding? So fsd 7 is using the computer and asked her sister a question and I said nope - fsd7 if you can't figure out the game - then play another one or find something else to do your sister is not allowed on the computer. DH then says well then why don't you just turn it off? Take it away from both of them - I said fsd7 did NOTHING. She is NOT in trouble. Nor is the other - I just want her to appreicate little things. Am I so wrong?

So then - after two nights and 3 days of being with us - DH calls to see what time we are supposed to bring them home and bird starts talking about a lump/bump on fsd7's neck? I immediately get upset because BM is always looking for something wrong with these kids. She calls ambulances for everything. Last summer she used fsd9 as a pin cusion claiming she had diabetes and even after a second opinion and tests that all came back negative she still claimed all the tests and hospitals were wrong...so we examine fsd7 and when she turns her head - between her neck and shoulder you can't see it but you can feel something like a small pea size bump - she says it doesn't hurt BUT dh says call the doctor just in case and not to worry about it yet - as this may be hereditary - he and his twin and father all have these "fatty tissue" lumps beneath their skin and have had several biopsied - but take her JUST in case it's something bad - she throws a fit and says, "THIS IS WHY I HAVE CUSTODY AND YOU DON'T!" Because he didn't immediately freak out. WHAT? First of all - let's not all get upset in front of her atleast - I don't want her to get scared. If we are upset and scared she will be - second of all - you don't have custody - yes they may live with you BUT there is NO custody agreement. The only reason he had left the girls with her was because he was working - she was not and they were so young and everyone said they needed to be with their mom. WE are BOTH really really scared - she goes to the doctor tomorrow. And I wouldn't wish anything on either child - I worry about them both equally - but the younger one is my mini me. Not in looks - but personalities - I'd been with her since she was 2 and even my parents say OMG she takes after you personality wise - they like to watch her when we are there because it reminds them of me when I was little....she's my lovebug and we are really, really close. She always tells me she loves me and gives me hugs and kisses. We have a bond the other one and I don't unfortunatly. My heart is broken and I will be a mess until I know what the thing is ; (

Comments

csjuly2012's picture

I definitely agree with you on the computer issue! Children are spoiled my BD and two SS. I always take away something from them when they are being ungrateful. And it drives me crazy when my two SS 9 and 7 yell for everything! The problem is they only come to me and not the dad. I would rather they go to him! My daughter is sufficient and it drives me crazy the boys are not!

unbelieveable's picture

Let's keep our fingers crossed...sd7 went to the doctor - it is a swollen lymphode they think and I guess the doc was not that worried- she is on amoxicilian for 2 weeks - if it does not go away or become noticeable an MRI will be ordered. It makes me sick - I would have gone straight to the ER with this one I think and gotten the MRI pronto. This is most definitely something I would have gone through with and I am not one to make a big deal out of a booboo or over react about anything.

I'm confused about why I wouldn't have taken away some kind of privilege. She took it out dispite me...this isn't something she'd do by accident because she likes her nails done. So for now on...NO nailpolish at all!

I think BM is too worried about what guy she is going to be with right now to worry about what's going on with either daughter so I think sd9 is acting out for attention of course.

ugh...I need to hold my tongue when I start bragging about how good things have been with she and I.