Update on SS and College
So, once again, SS will be handed something rather than being asked to contribute or figure it out.
Well...OK. Not entirely.
DH hung out with a friend last night and it came up that this friend's parents have several furnished units in the town where SS has enrolled in the 2-year program. Very fortuitous. According to friend...they're not the newest or nicest places, but they're in a safe neighborhood about 7 miles from the school. Rent is $750 a month...so a good deal less than the 1K and up units DH was looking at last weekend.
Anyway. DH's parents have offered to pay the rent upfront for one of these units for 20 months...they're offering a reduced rate for paying as a flat fee upfront and are doing this as a loan to SS. If he finishes the program, he will have to pay them back half. If he doesn't finish, he will owe the full amount.
So...I guess he's on the hook a little, and we're telling him that he has to do his own utilities, Internet, car insurance...daily expenses. We've got the phone still.
Kind of still think he's a bit coddled and spoiled...but not my circus, not my monkeys. And not my money, either!
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Comments
It could be worse. DH bought
It could be worse. DH bought a house in his dAughters name, huge down payment so her mortgage is less that 500/month.
And, two months in she moved in his ex wife. Lmao.
Yep. This. I agree that he
Yep. This. I agree that he should have more skin in the game...but not my deal. In theory, this will encourage him to stick with it and is a good idea. In practice...I'm sure SS knows he'll never be required to pay it back...so not sure how motivating it will be.
This exactly. In theory it
This exactly. In theory it motivates him...in practice he'll never have to repay it and I'm sure he knows that.
I understand the frustration
I understand the frustration but I think this could be a really good thing.
I don't know all the circumstances but college is hard to do. Even with whatever discounted rate he's getting hes still going to be carrying a debt for a while I would guess. His grandparents helping him out like this seems amazing and honestly it's alot less then some people get. At the same time it's alot more.
I'd look at it this way. What's likely to happen if he doesn't go at all? Would he end up under yours and DH's roof indefinitely? College gives him a better chance at being independant and there for you being free of him I would hope.
Good luck.
It could be worse. My only
It could be worse. My only concern would be the parents coming to your DH expecting to get paid back if SS doesn't feel like paying
It's a special 2-year
It's a special 2-year certificate in a niche industry. It's a great program...DH and I see jn the industry and we've hired grads right out of this program and always been impressed. If it was just basic CC he'd be living st home and going to the one here...but that's not the case.
In one sense I am glad,
In one sense I am glad, because it removes the pressure of me having to say NO on repeat about this issue.
On the other hand, this is a lazy, no or low-motivation kid who continues to have everything handed to him. So it kind of irks me that I worked my butt off to get my degrees...at his age and later...I'm still paying back loans that were used, in part, to support a household that this kid benefited from...and after a year off of school to "work and save up" he still hasn't managed to put anything together.
It's just annoying all around. But yeah...their money, their choice.
He hasn't. He's had a year to
He hasn't.
He's had a year to work, save money, and figure out what he wants to do. Instead, he's been goofing off...as evidenced by his bank account.
I suppose. I mean...I suppose
I suppose. I mean...I suppose Trump could suddenly decide to stop Tweeting and act like the President of the USA...but I'm not that hopeful.
I'll try to be hopeful with SS...and I do think this program is more in line with his skills and interests, since it's so hands on. But this is the kid who has been pushed forward each grade level by BM going to the school to "talk to" the teachers...even though he failed a bunch of classes every year since third grade. That's OK! Go ahead and push him through!!! Now he's being set up in a free condo after failing to save for himself or plan. Feels like more of the same to me.
True. Ultimately, I do want
True.
Ultimately, I do want these kids to launch and this is probably a step in the right direction for SS.
The thing is...I like to work. I don't mind hard work at all, and neither does my DH...if anything, he works harder than I do...but he kind of squanders his money, when he makes it. He's not as good at budgeting as I am.
Meanwhile, I have just been asked to take on more hours/projects at my writing job and I've had a couple of really promising meetings with potential investors and networkers for DH's business in the past week. If we can finally get that off the ground, we'll be set...whether we inherit anything from his parents or not. And that is my end goal...to fully fund my life and help enrich the lives of people I care about, like my little sisters and my niece and nephews. Skids will not inherit from me...they got enough from me during my lifetime!
Don't parents usually help
Don't parents usually help out their college kids with living expenses? I know I sure do. It's not coddling, it's continuing to be a parent.
This kid has a history of not
This kid has a history of not finishing programs he starts and he sat out a year to work and save money...but he's saved nothing. I asked DH why not and was told he couldn't get enough hours at his workplace. Um...OK. So you're 19. Get a different job or get a second job. You're not in school and you're single with no kids and you're working 10-15 hours a week? What are you doing with the rest of your time? And now you expect us to pick up your slack?
I know. It causes a lot of
I know. It causes a lot of financial resentment for me, but I'm trying to compartmentalize it. I had lunch with DH's dad this week to go over the business plan DH and I have put together...and it's clear that his parents see me as the "financial guru" of this household...but it's like...how do you think I got this way?!?! By having to figure it out.
Anyway. His parents have been very supportive of me, too...and at lunch his dad told me that they're so grateful that I came into DH's life and that I challenge him and love him so well...so I guess what they do with their wealth is their own business. I understand it's exciting that SS is showing SOME motivation and direction...and if I had their kind of money, I'd likely be tempted to be generous in the same way.
No kidding!!! But,
No kidding!!!
But, honestly...they have already been very good to me and I have no reason to think they'd cut me out. Still, the first 15% of everything I earn goes straight into my savings...since last year. Just in case. Not going to contribute to someone else's kids for years just to watch them inherit millions while I'm left with nothing and still working in my 70s!!!
This was my initial thought
This was my initial thought as well. DH's parents pay for the place upfront to get the discount, but we charge SS a small "rent" each month that is less than the full amount.
I really like the idea of knocking the rent down if he does well each semester. THAT is a more effective motivation. If it's all paid for and he just has some kind of "loan" hanging out there after he graduates...it's not going to feel real to him at all. And it probably isn't.
Last year, DH and I bought SS a nice laptop so he could get editing work in this field. He said he needed one...we found a good one as a deal of the day. DH said he was going to give it to SS and make him pay us back for it at $75-$100 a month. The whole package we got was about $1500. DH even said he was going to make him a loan coupon book so SS would get some experience with how that works. We were going to set the repayment aside and give it back to SS when he decided what he wanted to do for schooling...as a surprise.
Guess how much of that plan actually happened? That's correct...precisely none of it. SS never "paid us back" a dime for the laptop...and it doesn't seem like he's been using it to get extra work, either...