Ok, I am new to this and really do not know where to begin. I have exhausted all lines of help from my family and friends.

I hope I will be able to expalin the situation and hope that someone out there can relate and give me some advise that I can take home and practice.

After high school, I went to college and grad school. I enjoyed my life and how I was raised. But, with that being said, first and formost, I know that not every child is raised the same way and it is between the biological mother and father on how they raise the child. But, when a divorce plays into the factor things change. I know this because I am a product of a divorced family!

I married a man that has a daugther. I am sure the signs were there before we married...I was just blinded by his love and did not see them. Now, that married life has begun and the day to day stuff like laundry and making beds and taking trash out and emptying the dishwasher and so on and so fourth have set in I am really shocked at how lazy the child is.

She does not know what a trash can is. She will literally throw garabage on the floor in her bed room. She throws clothes on her bedroom floor. I have to beg and plead to get her to take a bath and wash her hair. Now, mind you she is in middle school.

In the mornings, I like for the beds to be made. I addressed this issue with my husband. He straight out told me that she WOULD NOT BE MADE TO MAKE HER BED UP. His reasoning... it is not the childs fault that the divorce happend and she has to get up so early that the last thing he is going to make her do is make her bed. Hello, she gets up at 6:15 a.m. I know other children that have to get up earlier.

She cannot do anything for herself. Supposly, she is suppose to be so outgoing but when we go to church she has to set in between her father and me because she does not want to set by anyone at church. Or when we go out to eat she doesnt want to order her food cause she doesnt want to talk to strangers. or when we are walking places she has to be in between us.

It is like a act of congress to make her take a shower. I have to wash her hair when she is with us in the kitchen sink. This has been going on for about a year. See, she has ear problems and had to get tubes, well since then, the only was she will was her hair is if someone with do it for her. I understand that if water gets in her ears, it might, cause an ear infection. But, this summer she has camps and other activities that requires her to be away from home....what is she going to do then???? And brushing teeth...well I hope she knows what a tooth brush is!

All she does is sets on her room and watches TV. She comes out of the bedroom to eat. And this is EVERY 2 hours. Her famous line is, Whats to eat. Every TIME. I feel like I am a maid!

I have asked her to pick her room up and dust it and then I get this long spill of how she hates to clean.

I really fill like she is babyied too much. My husband and I have discussed having a child together. I want my daugther to be taught responsiblities. I dont know what to do.

Just confused....?