I think I need psychological help....a counselor or something...what do you all think?
My Step talk friends...I think I need help bad. My husband has a problem and I need to learn how to deal with it. His problem consists of not being able to tell his daughter NO. This brat would be my sd!
She, first off texted her father last night, to see if someone could spend the night tonight. He turns to me and tell me what was said. I look at him and say....its a school night. No one needs to stay on a school night. (Disclaimer:the last 3 nights 2 people have already stayed with her.)
After about 50 text later (ok probably not 50) but after a few texts later he turns to me again and asks what I think....I told him, "I told you how I felt in the kitchen."
Well, this morning, he calls me, while I am on my way to work and point blank says to me...well go ahead and be pissed at me, but I told the little girl she could stay the night.
WTF, it never freaking fails...he is so afraid to tell his brat of a daugther no and so is the ex. I think I am the only one who see it and when I used to tell him about it....he would tell me...that I dont know what I am talking about because I dont have kids.
I pregnate, sick and emotional and am afraid that i have messed up. I love my husband sooo much, but his child is wearing on me.
On a better note....I felt my baby for the first time yesterday in my belly. On a sour note: I told my husband, but you know he didnt even want to talk about it. It hurts so bad.
Any advise out there i could really use something to brighten my day cause Its pretty bad right now!
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Sorry you're feeling bad.
Sorry you're feeling bad. You know, though, it's not the child that's wearing on you on this particular issue. It's your DH. I agree with you, no sleepovers on school nights. Kids need to get the message that school is a priority, and being prepared and well rested is essential. My SO and I used to fight when he would keep SS out late on school nights. I felt it set a very bad example - that SS wasn't being taught to prepare responsibly to fulfill his responsibilities, and eventually he'd have a problem when he didn't have the self dicipline to get everything done and take proper care of himself. SS is now 16 and a disaster who thinks he can do whatever he pleases and nobody should tell him anything. It wouldn't be so bad if what he pleased was to give a crap about ensuring his future - but what he pleases is to have fun and feel good as much as possible.
I'm not saying SO cause this in SS by keeping him out late - I'm saying you're right, school nights should not be sleepover nights.
But it's not abnormal of your SD to ask, test, push boundaries, etc. That's not the problem here. The problem is your DH, as you said initially. So hold him responsible.
Take a good look at the kid. How much of what she does is a product of your DH's "yes man" approach - and can you really blame her for that?
He needs to rethink his approach to her. If he doesn't, you've got to clearly see that *he's* the cause.
Good luck...
L
You sound like me..no I am
You sound like me..no I am not pregnant...but my bf and I are both in opposite ends of the ball field and until we meet in the middle over these kids...his and mine....nothing is ever gonna change..you have to talk(something my bf just doesnt know how to do) sit rules...rules that you follow PERIOD!
"I think I am the only one
"I think I am the only one who see it and when I used to tell him about it....he would tell me...that I dont know what I am talking about because I dont have kids."
i've heard that before, too. it feels like you're the only voice of reason in a sea of insanity a lot of the time. i try to stick to the simple facts of the situation, rather than the emotion. "she will not get enough sleep if she goes to a slumber party on a school night" rather than "you shouldn't let her do that". that's the best you can do, sometimes.
..he would tell me...that I
..he would tell me...that I dont know what I am talking about because I dont have kids.
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This statement pisses me off to no end! Our BM once said to me (when she was being her usual beeotch self) "Maybe you'll understand some day when you have kids of your own" WTF? Just because you birth a child does not mean that you have any clue how to parent! Trust me, I won't be taking Childcare 101 classes from BM!
H and I have a son now and I promise you that WE WILL be able to tell him no and HE will NOT be running the household!
That statement pisses me off
That statement pisses me off too...I have heard it for years.
Yeah....I don't have kids...but I have the common sense that DH and BM lack. I know bad parenting when I see....I see it enough....I live with with. I am not the one that is in denial. I do not own a pair of rose colored glasses....I see what is wrong.
I go to therapy because of powerlessness. I have lost my power....my life is controled by my SS. I am the servant....the one that does. But I don't have a voice or an opinion.....no one cares what I have to say. You know what I stopped caring about everything.....why should I? No one cares about me.
BTW...DH and BM.....what you ever noticed that more is expected out of my dogs and my dogs have better behavior than your brat?
Ugh...i've been through this
Ugh...i've been through this a time or two. It's like, wtf is the point in asking ME if YOU are just going to do what YOU know you shouldnt do!?!
I would tell DH that if he is going to continue to make poor decisions in regards to the upbringing of his child and not take your opinion into consideration, then to stop asking for it.
WOW!!!! Thank you so much for
WOW!!!! Thank you so much for this passage! This is just what I needed. I like to think that in this crazy mixed up situation that there is positive people out there.
THank you again for you words...they meant a lot!!