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Can the word "NO" be used...yes, but not to the SD.

tryingtomakeit's picture

I have really disengaged so much from my sd since my child has been born. Now I just sit back and watch...its better than any movie I could ever rent.

This past weekend was not our normal scheduled weekend for the sd to come visit, but becasue we were having a neigborhood party she wanted to attend on Saturday and stay the night. Well, on Thursday my 6 month old and myself come down with a terrible cold. We were better by Saturday afternoon, but I still did not want to have him out running around. So, we said our hi's at the party and went back home. (thats beside the point)

In the mean time, my sd, who wanted soooooo bad to be at the block party stayed in her room. She finally came out after everyone had ate at the neighbors and found her dad. She wanted a friend to come over. He told her YES. So the sd and her friend ended up staying in the house and the sd did not really even attend the pary. I did tell my husband that the friend was NOT to spend the night....due to us being sick and of course I got the GTH eye.

Then to top it all off the sd leaves on Sunday and I go back to her bedroom and it is a complete disater. I have warned her that anything left out when she leaves goes to the trash...needless to say I meant it and her room is now clean. See I do know what the word NO is and I stick to my guns. Something my husband and the ex do not know how to do.

Also, if my 13 yr old daughter came out of her room dressed like the sd did just to walk over the neighbors....lets just say she would NOT have a friend over for a while. She was dressed like a 21 yr old who had too much to drink at the club! I can only imagine what the 13 yr old sd will be like at 21.

Anyone have a sd like mine???

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stepdaughtertroubles's picture

I do have an SD like yours. She does dress like a tart and really the eye make up is something else. I never want to be seen in public with her as I do not want other adults thinking she is my daughter and I let her go about dressed like that. The worse bit is that there are some girls who wear really short skirts who are a lot more tasteful than her and she calls them tarts. They at least are not as chunky as her and so it doesn't look nearly as bad.

About the room, my husband and his ex don't really carry through their threats about what happens if she doesn't clean her room. My coping mechanism is to just shut the door to her room when she isn't around and so not have to see the disaster within. After 5-6 years of marriage, I had stopped trying to get her to be clean. We do have a cleaning lady and that lady told me that after SD has been here for a week, she needs to spend an hour on her room and the bathroom she uses. The remaining part of the house (3 other bedrooms and 3 other bathrooms and kitchen and living room and basement and family room) only takes her an hour and a half. But this is a fight I think isn't worth getting into. Now Sd knows that anything she leaves around the house on the floors will get thrown into garbage.

In the past 11 years I have tried to pick my battles. I have tried to only interfere when it effects me directly.

alwaysanxious's picture

Sounds like we have similar SDs
Chunky, thinks she's terribly cute, and talks about how horrible others look.

Jsmom's picture

Funny!!! I won't even allow our cleaning lady to go in the kids rooms. If they want their sheets changed, they have to leave clean ones on their bed. Since they are all too lazy, it doesn't happen often. She is only supposed to vaccum their rooms if the floors are clear. And that is entirely up to her. I am not paying her to clean up after them. Their doors stay shut....

alwaysanxious's picture

Yes SD15 has a way with her make-up. We put a stop to the low cut shirts in our home(she's a D cup). She still wears these clothes at her moms though. Not to mention the cleavage shot pics on FB, when she had a FB.

Nothing is ever good enough and they want what they want when they want it. Its called overindulgence. Its sad to watch your man overindulge a child. Especially when you see the effects and he doesn't.