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I almost went through a whole bottle of vodka

Trying to love them....'s picture

Submitted by Trying to love ... on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 3:40pm

This is my first time to this site. I am so glad to read that there are others that feel like me. I am newly married to a wonderful man. He has 2 kids, ages 5 and 10 that are driving me crazy. I am a structured parent(I have a daughter age 12 and a 20 year old son in college). His exwife, lets them go wild; so when they come over our house (4 days one week, 2 days the next) I spend a lot of time disciplining. They both have ADHD (the mom refuses to acknowledge). All she does is stick them in front of the TV and let them play video games. They are unruly and unpleasant to be around. I knew that My husband was a package deal however knowing they are kids, I felt that they just needed discipline. I am finding it hard to love them and even worse, to don't want to deal with them.
This weekend took me over the top! One of my dogs was shaking and her eye was really red. I took her to the emergency vet, and the vet said that she had eye trauma?!! I said that we recently bought a platform bed and maybe she bumped into it trying to jump on the bed. The vet asked if we had any small kids in the home because this was done by a sharp object. I got home and the 5 year old admitted to taking a pen and poking her in the eye. The old son also said that he has repeatedly beat my other dog!! The emergency visit cost me $400. I ran out the house crying to avoid harming him.
I am not a bad person and I am not trying to allow my husband to be a father to his children but I refuse to let them control my house to the point that now I am feeling uncomfortable. I have kept my feelings quiet due to feeling guilty and embarassed. I feel good to get this off my chest....

Comments

Pinki3663's picture

Submitted by Pinki3663 on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 3:54pm

OMFG! I have no idea what I would have done in your situation! I have no children and my dogs are MY BABIES! I would have poked that little sucker in the eye!

I would never allow these little creeps in my home again. If you are unable to do so they should never be left alone with any animal. What did their father have to say?

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 3:57pm

Seems like a lot of these kids on here have ADHD. I think it is more like...parents to effing lazy to parent.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 4:24pm

Ding....ding......ding.....ding.....ding!

I can't help but feel the exact same way! I think this is over diagnosed way too often, which takes away from the kids that actually do suffer from it.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 3:58pm

OH HELL NO! NEVER and I mean NEVER leave them alone with your pets. Hell, I'd be banning them from my house. NO child and I don't care the age, abuses my pets in any circumstance. SD14 kicked my cat under the table once and I came UNGLUED on that girl. Let me tell you, I used to do animal rescue and this happens a lot more than people let on. It's heartbreaking.

So, what has the father done about this?

DASKRA's picture

Submitted by DASKRA on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 4:03pm

I am so sorry. Furry ones are family members too. Believe it or not they have more rights then women do. I would have reported that lil shit to the cops and taken him back to his moms. That is crap.

Take your lil fur babies and go somewhere until he deals with them. It's illegal to abuse a dog. Federal depending on your state.

I am so sorry. That is the worst thing I can imagine. My fur babies are my lil kids.

Peaches1973's picture

Submitted by Peaches1973 on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 4:12pm

I admire your restraint,really I do.Im afraid that if that had happened to one of my furbabies the aftermath would have been bloody.It would have been like a Quentin Tarentino movie up in there.

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 4:17pm

Oh those kids would be banned until they were enrolled in therapy and at least have 12 weeks of therapy behind them. End of statement. And if DH didnt like it he could go to

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 4:17pm

Oh those kids would be banned until they were enrolled in therapy and at least have 12 weeks of therapy behind them. End of statement. And if DH didnt like it he could go to

silentnites's picture

Submitted by silentnites on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 4:22pm

Oh dear...and welcome! The fact that your skids are unruly is terrible in of itself. That is something that could be worked out over time with help. The fact that your skid deliberately hurt an animal is a very bad sign....A very bad sign. They need to be in therapy immediately. I would not fee embarrassed or guilty whatsoever. It is a very dangerous situation. What did dh say? Is he working out a plan with them so that they will repay you the money for the vet bill?

I think you feel the way you do primarily because you are a mother, and you know inside that these two are bad news. That behavior is not normal, and hurting dogs or any animal is generally an indication of many bad things to come....prayers to you.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 4:24pm

First of all-they should be allowed no interaction with your pets. Talk to your dh about taking them and having them evaluated. If he has joint custody he should be able to do this on his own. Perhaps suggest visits should be suspended if they do not get help. If they are that big of a handful, bm probably appreciates her time without them so hopefully this will motivate her to have them evaluated. If at all possible, attend the evaluation, so that bm and dh cannot sugercoat their behaviors. I also believe they should both receive some sort of consequences. Writing sentences-I will not harm animals. Going somewhere and cleaning out animal cages, horse stalls. Or either lots and lots of household tasks in order to pay you back the 400.00. If they complain, you could just suggest that you will stab a pen in their eye and then call it even. Just kidding. Sort of.

Love51's picture

Submitted by Love51 on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 5:12pm

Yes!!Great points above.
Im sorry about your dog. I hope you get reinbursed for that bill, you shouldn't have to pay for that.
I love my dog more than my SS, if he ever did anything to hurt my dog everyone would know about it and there would be consequences.

notagain2012's picture

Submitted by notagain2012 on Mon, 01/28/2013 - 6:01pm

Oh hell no. My dog is my 'baby' and my son is my son. I get defensive when SS pets the dog.

Keep those brats away from ur dogs, and tell DH to step up and parent his Damn kids. He should discipline them, while your protect your animals from these little sociopaths.

Therapy won't work, they are too young. And how the hell can they adhd when they can't even read? No child sits still at that age. They need discipline, and consequences ASAP. By your HUSBAND.

I hear a lot of BM blaming, but haven't heard anything about what dad does. Only you.

Ps....why would you feel embarreses and quilty about not wanting mongrel children attacking your dogs? You have every right to protect them, be thankful it wasn't your infant. These kids are his. Not yours. They are his responsibilty.