I married my DH almost 2 years ago, and we have ss6 and ss9 50% of the time. I am 17 weeks pregnant with my first child and feeling like we are both in a dangerous situation.

we have always had a problem with BM being hostile and the children lying to please her. we have done our best to teach them that lying is wrong, no matter why you are doing it, and DH and i are suffering because of it. these are not terrible kids, they have a distorted view of how morality to treat others sometimes because thier mothers influence. but overall, they are pretty good here and happy. but when they go back to BM, they basically say we are mean and neglectful. and we end up fielding hours worth of text messages about how we are abusing them and wont let them use a phone to call her and they never want to come back to the "lions den" i know that these things are a combination of the children wanting keep on her good side, and her exaggerating what she is told. so it is difficult to assess if she is actually as angry as she seems or if she is just trying to be dramatic and knows that these things arent true, and is trying to cause a rift between us and the children.

a few months ago, when she found out we were expecting, things got so much worse! the lies and harrassment got much worse, she moved in a new boyfriend who the skids have known only a couple of months. this boyfriend seems to be just as hostile as her, he is a self proclaimed gun nut who shoots squirrels outside of the apartment windows for entertainment for the kids. he has taken both kids shooting and taught them all different kinds of guns and which ones are more powerful and so on. my brothers and i had BB guns when i was 10, but we did not shoot animals and we definately did not know the difference between a semi automatic and an m and ar. and i STILL dont know! but the skids do, and for the last couple months they have been spewing gun facts like a gun fact geyser! they are the 'ol faithful of gun facts! and to top it off, their mother has been inserting how well shes been doing at the shooting range into random texts with us. such as, "you need to keep them later, im doing well at the shooting range" or "i dont need to fight with you about this, im so happy in my life, and i have so many new friends at the shooting range"

recently, because of another lie, BM texted DH that she has has to hold back her BF from putting DH in his place many times and she was tired of it. the police took a statement and wanted us to file a restraining order with family court. to get back at him for calling the police, BM says that she will no longer participate in the staggered pick ups and drop offs that they have been doing for 2 years. that if he wants to see the kids, he has to meet her and her BF at a municipal parking lot near the police station. the court ordered DH to do this until the official court date in a few weeks. the only change was that her BF couldnt be there. dhs lawyer advises him to go along with this afraid that the judge will look down on him for not picking up his kids for 3 weeks.

I dont want him to,i believe he will not only be putting himself in danger, but he will be exposing the children to the craziness she always brings out whenever she sees him. Just a couple days after her and bf were spoken to by the police about her threat, they camped out next to my house for an hour and a half and sent the children to the door with some big dirty man to serve us court papers! this man came 4 times, banging on my door, and i had no idea who he was, all i knew was BM and her BF were sitting outside of their car watching! then he comes back with the Skids to bang on the door to get me to answer. I called the police! and they stayed another 20 minutes until the cops got here. then stayed until the cops left! She is hostile with a long history of mental illness and violence, the reason that they had staggered pick ups and drop offs in the first place was because BM and her parents assaulted DH and I in front of the kids (because of a lie ss told) and DH and I originally were blamed for it and had to fight with court and CPS to get them to see she was lying.
I also told Dh that i did not feel safe anymore and i wanted him to get the kids at least a few sessions with a therapist before either of us spent time with them again. i want them to be able to talk to someone and understand that they are being manipulated by their mother and if the lying doesnt stop. more bad things will happen to us.it didnt go over well at first, but i was able to get dh to agree that we need to stay alive and unharmed. i honestly dont know if i am overreacting or being emotional because im pregnant. but i feel that i have a responsibility to make sure no one comes to my door and tries to assault me.
My logic, is that if the children have been so PASsed that Dh cannot get them to stop lying. then the only chance we have for them to be deprogrammed, is with someone neutral and licensed. And i truly feel that until the lying stops, more and more hostility is being bred by BM and her BF. therefore, my life is in danger of their eminent retaliation. please tell me if i am not being reasonable, i dont want to give DH any problems in court for not seeing them. It would crush us if the judge looked badly upon him because he hasnt been picking them up. be blunt if you want, just tell me the truth. please and thank you