What type of relationship did BM have with her own father???
When I read some of these blogs regarding BMs that try to keep their children away from dad.. for whatever reason, jealousy, bitterness or just to be a bitch, I wonder what type of relationship she had with her own father.
My husband's x always tried to limit the amount of time my husband could spend with his girls, whether it was through extra-curricular activities that she ALWAYS signed them up for that committed them to days that my husband would have them or just purposes sent them to Georgia on his time so he couldn't get them. Her relationship with her father was terrible. Her dad was a cross dresser and she couldn't deal with that and therefore chose not to have a relationship with him. Once she was on her own, she only talked about him as though he was dead.
I am an x-wife. I had a really great relationship with my father. I still do. I think kids, especially girls need their fathers in their lives. Dads bring things to the table that moms can't. Because of my relationship with my father, I encouraged and fostered a relationship with my children and my x. It really made for a more cohesive existence between us. I didn't interfer with his time and when my kids called me from his house to bitch about his rules, I told them "his house, his rules."
So, I was just wondering what type of relationship your bms have or had with their own fathers.
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Hmmm, this title made me go,
Hmmm, this title made me go, "wait a minute..."
While I'm not privy to BM's life (other than to say that she and her sisters look like they never left the 80s on FB) from what I hear from SD15, BM's father wasn't around too much. Her mother was a horribly abusive bitch, and is killing herself slowly with addiction and mental illness, and BM's stepfather is none to nice to her. Even my super-sweet MIL sees BM going down the same path because she has the cray-cray just like her mom.
I've said more than once that BM makes SD15 the scapegoat child because DH won't go away and just write a check every month. Her other baby-daddy ran away like his hair was on fire and his ass was catching, so she has her perfect little family - happily married with one boy (adopted by her DH) and one girl. Except for that damn ex-H who keeps poking his nose in.
I do think you're on to
I do think you're on to something there. BM had an awful relationship with her dad. She said that he favored his other daughter because she was prettier. BM was concerned that this would happen with dh and our new baby. She has done her damage and SD(12) no longer visits (it's been 2 months).
I am also a BM but I had (and still do) an awesome relationship with my dad. My bios (dd7 and ds11) have a good relationship with my ex. I pushed really hard for that, I will not let them go to anything on "his" time. They have to ask him if it's ok. I put them in activities that are only on my time but sometimes there's b-day parties or special events on his days. Also my kids know they do not have to ask to call him anytime. I think he's an idiot but I have never said a bad word to him or about him if the kids are with a mile of us.
Apparently BM's parents could
Apparently BM's parents could not control her when she was a teenager, which sorta explains her ending up pregnant as a teenager.
But she is spoiled by her dad, who up to this day, still very much provides for her financially, since she chooses not to work very hard, and is an unfortunate, poor, single mother. Therefore it's NO SURPRISE that she saw DH as an ATM machine, and continues to see him as an ATM machine for herself and her kids.
DH would love to have 50/50 custody of his kids, but since it would mean she gets less $$ from him, it's never going to happen.
word for word. yes and yes.
word for word. yes and yes. our bm.
altho chuck in that altho she says she HATES her mother, she cant go a day without calling her. Oh and she was also an only child. She is 39 and still has yet to work any sort of paid job, yet she didnt have children until she was nearly 29.
OMG - this is the same as our
OMG - this is the same as our BM! Daddy's Little Girl.
NN (formerly H) and BM had a fight early in their relationship because SHE thought HE should get up in the middle of the night when SD was screaming (she was just a baby). NN thought BM should get up and take care of her since NN was working 50-60 hours a week, plus commuting AND BM was not working AT ALL.
BM had such a fit over it, she called her daddy over. Then daddy and NN got into a physical altercation.
*sigh* Why the hell did I get myself involved in this damn soap opera?? I thought being a SINGLE mom was hard!
I think BM's father is the
I think BM's father is the side of the family that the craziness comes from.
I've met her mother before and she actually seemed to be concerned over her grandkids' (my skids') welfare.
Whereas, grandpa is bitter and vindictive just like BM. I am sure that a lot of the crap she unloaded upon me and NN (numbnuts - formerly H) were things that her and her father dreamed up. They both think they are extremely intelligent. I've only had to interact with him a couple of times. One time he was supposed to drop off skid at third party exchange site and was 45 minutes late (!!!!). In this town, you could almost drive from the furthest part of the tri-city area to the other side in that amount of time! Once I called their house because nobody was home when I was supposed to pick up skids. Just like BM, all he did was yell at me and treat me like shit.
I don't know what these people have against me. He hated NN and NN and his daughter were already broken up when I came into the picture. Of course, I have no idea what lies BM filled him full of either.
BM's mom took custody of BM
BM's mom took custody of BM and PAS'd her dad for most of her childhood. BM's mom turned to drugs (her dad was a druggie too), men, sex, abusive relationships, all that kind of stuff. BM seems to be following in her whore-mommy's footsteps.