Strict? I don't think so. Mean? That's your perspective.
Strict? No. It's called making my child behave herself.
My daughter-My BioDaughter is a pain in the ass. Yes, I admit it, I do not have the "perfect BD" She is 4. She is a minnie me. Super strong willed.
She has started to talk back, and I have begun to spank. Yes, I know some people out there will disagree. I understand the strong feelings about it. I have read a million parenting books about the best way to raise children. All of them say no to spanking. I disagree with that. My mother never spanked me and I was a BRAT!! Until one day my Step Father got so fed up with all my crap, He spanked my butt. My mom was so upset, but she noticed that it helped me. I got less and less bratty because I was learning that my behavior was unacceptable. My Mom couldn't understand why I was such an angel around my Grandma and Grandpa. I knew why...because I would get a whoopin' if I didn't listen. I NEVER tested them because I knew better. Now, back to my point....lol.......
A couple of weeks ago I was over at my MILs house with my DH, SD and BS. The kids were playing, making noise..being kids. My MIL offered the kids ice cream after we ate. SD8 wanted chocolate icecream but MIL didn't have any. SD8 got an attitude and got snotty. DH told SD they only had vanilla, blah blah blah..SD ignored DH. MIL budged SD and said Daddy is talking to you. SD just stared at the T.V. I sat there and watched, getting upset. DH asked SD again, she ignored him again. Finally I raised my voice, and said "(her name) I know you hear your father talking to you, DO NOT be rude!!..Now, answer him!" I got the bug eyed look. SD was shocked that I stepped in because normally I try to let DH handle it(he's not doing so well lately) She answered, got her ice cream and said thank you(this is rare, and I'm working on that too) MIL was also shocked. DH smiled at me. Fast forward a while later, it was time to leave. BD4 threw a fit and didn't want to leave. She started running around, running to MIL. I told her I was not going to tell her again to put her jacket on. She refused so I spanked her butt. I will NOT tolorate rudeness, disrespectful behavior! MIL mentioned to DH that we were strict. Now, mind you, this is coming from a woman who controlled my DH and BIL like a Comanding Officer. Made DH scrub his kitchen floor with bleach when he was 5 for leaving scuff marks. SHE WAS strict.
I do not see myself as strict. When I think about strict, I think about someone using a white glove to check for dirt lol. I'm not that bad.
Am I considered strict because I make my children listen? I make them behave??? Am I strict because I teach my children manners and I ENFORCE Manners??? I don't think so. I'm strict because I make my ddaughter clean her room, clean up her own messes, teach her to take care of what she has? NO. Making my children do these things teaches them responsibility. My goal with my children is to teach them to be polite, to be respectful, of everyone, not just adults. I want them to be appreciative. I want them to grow up to be responsible adults.
Am I strict???????
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NO! You're *GASP*...
NO! You're *GASP*... parenting!
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
Good for you Torn. My
Good for you Torn. My In-laws think I am strict too. Let them think what they want, they don't live in my house and they aren't responsible for the kids who live in my house. They bitch that I am strict and then they're surprised that the kid listens to me and not for them. They see no connection. They think they can let kids run amok and then expect them to behave when asked on a rare occasion.
I'll give you a prime example: When Creature was 3, every time there was a family bday, she'd try to stick her finger in the icing on the cake. I always stopped her and MIL ALWAYS interrupted me and said "its ok, she's just a kid." ME: "No it is NOT ok. I don't want her to learn that it is ok to stick her hands in food that isn't on HER plate." I always got the look of death. Fast forward to SILs wedding and MIL was FREAKING out because Creature kept migrating toward the cake table trying to get a "taste" of the icing. I let her go. Let MIL deal with the monster she created. }:)
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
You are not strict. You are
You are not strict. You are what I call a Responsible Parent! I wish there were more parents in this world that are strict like you.
My biokids are 1 and 3, so I *DEFINITELY* understand the frustration with the backtalk. We spaked them for a while, but my boys became immune to it very quickly. So now, they lose a toy for the rest of the day whenever they talk back. I started this about 2 weeks ago and it is working great for my boys. The first day BS3 lost every toy before going to bed. Then I explained to him at bedtime that he could start all over again tomorrow and that he needed to CHOOSE how to talk nice to me/DH. By day 3 he only needed one warning and the backtalk stopped. We still have good days and bad, but I have found this to be very effective. It's always a challenge to find the most effective discipline b/c every child is so different.
"You are not strict. You are
"You are not strict. You are what I call a Responsible Parent! I wish there were more parents in this world that are strict like you."
THANK YOU!! I really appreciate that! Yes, I know how the spanking is not always effctive. It's not used on a regular basis. Yesterday for example, I told my daughter to clean her room, she refused, I turned off the t.v in the living because she could hear it. She threw a fit. I told her to clean her room, she refused. I told her I would take away EVERY SINGLE toy she has on her floor until her room is clean. She said O.K. I said O.K. I got a garbage bag, and bagged up half the stuff while she is crying(She finnaly realised I wasn't joking) She scrambled for dear life to clean up quickly. She will get the toys i did bag up this evening, if she behaves today. Another very effictive way to make her understand that she needs to behave is SpongeBob. If she doesn't listen, is rude etc etc..She doesn't get to watch SpongeBob..She shapes up in a quickness lol
*~Torn~*
~Never interrupt your enemy when she is making a mistake.~
This is a great idea! I'm
This is a great idea! I'm going to put together a Naughty Bag this weekend!
I think that I've shared
I think that I've shared this before but it's a good one. My parents spanked and I survived. My mother was great at making the punishment fit the crime. I was being a smart mouthed teenager talking on the phone and being disrespectful to my mother and dumb me - doing so in front of my mom. She grabbed the receiver out my hand and hit me on the head with it. LOL!
Glynne
Hey guess what? I was
Hey guess what? I was spanked as a kid and I've given perfectson MANY good spankings... LOL. He's deserved *most* of them anyway, some of them were just for good measure when he was younger. Guess how he's turning out? Yup, pretty damn perfect.
AH, Wicked, the more I get
AH, Wicked, the more I get to know you, the more I like you. I'd have never guessed you were a spanker.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
Oh yes SVS, I am a spanker.
Oh yes SVS, I am a spanker. A good solid spanking never hurt any kid. Matter of fact I bet perfectson would tell you I flat out beat him a time or two as well! LOL!!! My favorite was when he was about 4 or 5 and I was getting ready to check out at WalMart and he decided that NO wasn't a good answer and he threw the most awful fit you've ever seen. I apologized to the cashier, left my cart of groceries and I spanked that kid ALL.THE.WAY.OUT.THE.STORE. Every time he took a step I was lifting him up off the ground. Matter of fact some lady in the parking lot stood there with her mouth dropped open and I hissed at her "I DARE you to call and turn me in" and I kept on swatting him. You know what? He NEVER threw a fit like that in the store again. LOL Yes, there is something to be said for spanking a kid.
Agreed! We don't spank
Agreed! We don't spank Creature because her mother would give birth to a toad if we did, but if she were mine.....she'd get a smack every morning just to remind her I am still in charge.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
she'd get a smack every
she'd get a smack every morning just to remind her I am still in charge <------------------------ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.... I love that!
LMAO!!! "Give Birth To A
LMAO!!! "Give Birth To A Toad" OMG that cracked me up!!! I'm laughing right now
*~Torn~*
~Never interrupt your enemy when she is making a mistake.~
LOL - I'm not even sure what
LOL - I'm not even sure what made me say that!
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.