Bingo! Exactly! Twins? How about triplets? BM in my life is yet another, i am assuming, older version of the same model: hers are the only rights/needs/interests that matter; anyone else can take a hike. Enmeshed with her 3 kids, she is always the one made to suffer greatly by the awful DH who wants her to follow the most unbelievably predatory CO our post-divorce laywer ( who was not involved in the divorce itself) has ever seen. And he does nothing but family court cases!

I had a period of deep depression when i realized - a few months before we got married - what that horrid CO *really* says. If DH dies without a will, everything he owns individually OR jointly goes to his kids. He must have provisions in his will that more stuff goes to the kids. He must pay for their car insurance on top of alimony and CS. He was an idiot to sign off on that agreement.

Interestingly, now that we are deep into the college tuition debacle the CO comes across as the saving grace and a shining light because it tells BM she must do things too: pay her pro-rata share of skids humongous college costs, for one. It limits CS to the age of 21 ( not great, but not the worst scenario either). We are finally using it as a weapon to nail BM to the wall! Guess what? She is not happy - she feels DH is being - you guessed it - very controlling and the demand that she disclose her business bank accounts and records is an invasion of her privacy! Who knew??? DH's privacy is not important, hers is all that matters. She does not know how to respect anyone else's privacy, motherhood or anything else. She is too busy pointing out that hers are to be given special attention.

"She enjoys twisting it all. She likes this game of one upmanship. She LIKES sending long, rambling emails about what DH does wrong and how she is right. It's how she feels good about herself or something. You can't co-parent with crazy."

Been there, done that. Oh no, you cannot co-parent. How old is your SD? Our BM not only used to send long abusive emails about her being Mother Theresa and DH being a jerk, she also got her new GF ( now wife, they are lesbians) into the game - fresh narcissitic supply made to sing for her supper. I remember she forwarded us a disgustingly cloying email from the GF, a BM-wannabe, who told the skids not to listen to us when we expressed our expectations as we did not know what we were talking about bc they were the sweetest, greatest human beings that ever lived. BM must have had a field day. She got off bigtime on that stuff. She had her "eyewitness" testify by email that BM does it right, while we are sooo wrong. "She is all about the children". Her children: during my first and only face to face with her she made a negative remark about *my* 11yo son's looks - in lieu of hello.

For about 18 months now that we have designated our lawyer as her only outlet her diatribes have been less frequent and more subdued.

The worst thing is, the skids are as disturbed as she is, just less experienced at abusing others, but learning fast. Same entitlement, same need to control, same narcissistic rages. Same readiness to toe the line Crazy has drawn in the sand. My poor DH... The four monsters who have discarded him after years of brainwashing him to believe BM's deluded lies.

I hope your DH is able to maintain stronger ties to his daughter.