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Agh! Back to back weekends suck the life out of me! I'm done. I hate my step kids too much

Tissy113's picture

Submitted by Tissy113 on Fri, 04/06/2012 - 10:33pm

I must say I admire the SM that have the skids all the time or even have 50% or more custody. Mine are here every Wednesday and every other weekend, and that drives me crazy. To have back to back weekends makes me want to throw up constantly all weekend. Seriously makes me hate life. Not liking my step kids feels like a failure. Because I can't even stand the thought of them I know in my heart that SO and I will never get married. It breaks my heart for him that his kids aren't likeable. He totally has this Disney dad thing down to a T. Which is so sad for these kids. Between his mom who knows its her fault they are from a broken home and caters to them emotionally and my SO who caters to them because he doesn't see them all time, these kids are thinking that he real world will always give them what they want. They are in for a rude awakening. No one gives a shit your parents are divorced. I pray that my SO just let's me disengage. I don't like them, they annoy the shit out of me, they're whiny lazy asses. Master manipulators, and all I want is out of this relationship so I don't err deal with they're sorry asses. I don't know what the hell I was thinking getting involved with him. He made is seem like he believed in discipline. And I also felt like my SO came from similar background and we'd have the same approach to parenting. But I guess not. Not that I parent his kids. How can our 3yr old have better manners and attitude than a 11 and 9 yrd old. I don't get it. He's completely clueless that even my SO own mother can't stand his kids. And I don't get it the more I disengage from those brats the more he trys with me. Fuck we can't even have a simple 10 min conversation without one of them barging in and cling to him and whine about spending time with them. I just want to yell get the fuck out of my room. Get off my fucken bed you dirty shit. Ok...I'm done. I Cant believe I have this much anger toward these kids. I can't stay in this relationship. My daughter will just have to understand that this is for the best of everyone involved. My MIL is always telling me I can't let them win, but shit I can't stand living like this for the next 7-9 years. And they're so fucking manipulative that they'll just keep this "I love my Daddy" bullshit up forever.

Comments

stepmonster_2011's picture

Submitted by stepmonster_2011 on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 8:19am

So are you married to your SO?

Here's why I ask - if you aren't married, do a temporary walk away. As in, on the nights/weekends the kids are there go elsewhere. Cut yourself a break. If you don't like the skids, don't make yourself miserable.

If you are married, you do really need to do some serious thinking about how then next 10 years really will be and if you can deal with it.

Have you tried disengaging? It seems to work really well with Disney Dads. Anytime the skids barge into a room or conversation. Stop talking and leave. Anytime the skids ask you a question, your answer is ALWAYS "ask your dad". Take care of you BD, find find things to do on the weekends for you and her (walks to the park, visiting your friends)

The key to disengaging is making Dad do the actual parenting.

Oh, and I would explain to your SO that some rooms (like your bedroom) is OFF LIMITS. And if they walk in without being invited? Turn them right around and close the door in their face. Gently. Anytime a skid interrupts or breaks into a conversation, talk around/over them like you didn't even hear them. If your SO allows them to interrupt (and rewards them for it by answering them and not correcting them), then you leave and walk away.

As many will say - you don't have a skid problem. You have an SO problem.

good luck!

kitty1470's picture

Submitted by kitty1470 on Sat, 04/07/2012 - 10:03am

I agree with the above poster..

My BF had the skids every wednesday and eow and I hated it! I really do admire those who have them more than that and deal with it because I couldn't. BF isn't a disney dad, he disciplines very well but I still don't like being around them..SD5 keeps having her temper tantrums so I spend a lot of my time out or in the bedroom and trust me they are NOT allowed in my bedroom. They know this rule so they don't even attempt it. When the did, I would tell the in a very firm voice to please leave my room, they are not welcome in there! And I made damn sure they left and never attempted it again..they know better. You need to set those boundaries.

At first BF wasn't happy about it but I told him if they go in my room and touch my stuff or get on MY bed that I paid for I will not respect his stuff either. So he backed me up on this.

I do not do any parenting either, I disengaged a long time ago..I make my BF take all responsibility..

I also don't like the skids, but I deal with it by leaving and doing my own thing or going in my room where they are not allowed to go in.
I am all too happy that BM moved 6 hours away and we only get them on long weekends..and even those weekends are hard to get through.

If i was in your situation I would set the rules of them not being allowed in the bedroom PERIOD!! Theres absolutely no need for kids to be in the adult bedroom..

You need to set boundaries and stick to them. Its made my life a lot easier. I disengaged 100%, made rules and set boundaries. I still don't like them nor do I like being around them but at least its easier.