SD’s BF has stayed away but not without a price
And by price I mean I literal price tag!
DH held firm that we would not be having house guests. I know it killed him not to have to tell SD17 the word NO that her boyfriend can't come over....BF has been allowed out for about 3 weeks now.
i mistakingly suggested she get in DHs car and go hang out somewhere with the BF and that he Simply wasn't coming here. Go to the damn beach or something it's free!
i didn't take into consideration that it would cost me so much money. So not only is she blowing a tank of gas almost daily that she is here....and of course she needs to call DH during the 8 hour outings to ask for money each time.
just between yesterday and today it's an entire tank of gas plus a total of $70 cash that DH just transferred to her so she and BF can go out to eat and do whatever. That's just today.
im about to lose my mind.....on what planet is this reality?
I mean if I have to choose....take the money and GO but damn!
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Why don't you simply tell the
Why don't you simply tell the girl No, that's she's blown the gas budget for the week and no more money will be forthcoming?
I personally don't tell her
I personally don't tell her anything about anything. She makes her plans with DH and I find out when she is on her way out the door. Even if I'm home and DH is working she calls him and then next thing you know she is out the door and in his car without saying a word. He has a work car so his personal car is always home.
im totally physically disengaged, I wish I could be emotionally disengaged....but it just burns me that DH has given her $100 in the last 2 days.....
this is on the heels of BM telling skids that DH has paid for NOTHING for them since the divorce.....oh yeah I think she forgot about the 1K in CS she gets lol
i am letting it slide for right now because it keeps the BF out of my house......but damn if I watch $100 fly out of my bank account every other day....I may just lose it.
If it's your money, too, don
If it's your money, too, don't disengage from that. Let him know you are not okay with it.
I do plan to do that if this
I do plan to do that if this continues.
It just all gets so over whelming. I get so tired of DH just handing over money to SD when she can't even bother to put a dish away.
i got so mad a few weeks ago when when my 2 kids babysat our 2 year old and I always pay them so they both got we swimsuits (they didn't need a new one, they have several so it was a "want" which was their payment ." SD shows up the next day demanding her new swimsuit (also not needed) and boom she gets it.
I can't even give my own kid an allowance which I would love to do because DH would then give his kids one. And in reality I get 1K a month in CS to do things like that....he sends out 1K so skids need bark up a different tree.....that's just the way it is.
I'd separate money, and
I'd separate money, and quickly. No way would I be okay with him using my money to spoil his kids.
Oh yes
The good old “mummy can’t afford essentials for you like toiletries and clothes/food etc because daddy doesn’t pay child support” meanwhile she is getting her hair done, manicures, going on holidays and spending time alone with her toyboy lover(s).
Kids don’t see any better.
my husbands ex used the same story. She hasn’t worked in 26+ years, but sd24 claimed mummy was doing it tough and that hubby had to indefinitely pay sd24 money to care for sd14, doesn’t matter sd14 has cs paid as ordered by courts go to bio mum... sd24 didn’t recognize any money bio mum gives to sd24 to care for sd14 is all my husband... but since bio mum gives the money its jut bio mum...
bio mum for us palmed off parenting of sd14 to sd24. She had made the daughters cease contact with their dad for over 5 yrs and hubby didn’t know where they lived, her family threatened to kill my husband multiple times for not giving more money in the divorce....her hatred for my husband and preventing him having any good relationship with his kids superceded the need for an able bodied parent to care for the minor.
even my husband knows it would be drama taking sd14 to live in our household and just not safe... so he lets sd24 care for sd14 because she is being fed and has a roof over their heads as hubby bought the home they live in...y husband checks on them to make sure sd14 has all the essentials for school. He just pays his court ordered child support and not communicated with exwife in 11+ years. Anything he wants to check on sd’s to make sure they are ok for school supplies etc hubby will contact his eldest.
but she is too brainwashed to see the truth
That would happen here if
That would happen here if SD17 was that much older than SD24.
even now If BM goes out of town she has SD12 stay with an aunt because heaven forbid she stays with her dad.
Separate Accounts Now
Once you separate accounts your enabling hubby might not like spending so much of his OWN $$ on the obnoxious SD & BF. Today is a holiday but you should be at the bank or credit union 1st thing tomorrow morning to permanently free yourself from funding this insanity.
When's SD gonna be pregnant, and how far will your hubby go to enable THAT?!?