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A Flurry of Failure

thinkthrice's picture

I was re organizing Chef's paperwork/doing year end filing. Of course I keep EVERY.SCRAP.OF.PAPERWORK concerning Chef's paystubs, CS paperwork, skids school reports, etc. should it ever come back to bite us. Been keeping stuff basically since '04 due to all the horror stories with high conflict divorces.

Anyway I had to refile the skid's school stuff and it was basically a portrait of failure. . . a flurry of:

1. Notes from school about suspensions for blowing off homework and classwork
2. Notes from school about not returning school items or paying for school items
3. Report cards that showed crater failing
4. Notes from school about skipping/truancy/illegal absences
5. Notes from school about repeated tardiness
6. Notes from school regarding ineligibility for extra curriculars due to poor grades (Girhippo always overrules this paper tiger and gets them the extra curriculars they want regardless)

These kids were NEVER EVER taught responsibility by either the Girhippo or Chef. When Chef tried to teach them responsibility (a day late and a dollar short, IMHO), the Girhippo overruled him and scorched-earth PASed them out.

Currently SD(18), a "no child left behind" senior has had various part time jobs that she up and quits when she no longer feels like working there. She's probably cycled through 5 part times jobs in the six months. There's no way she will launch by age 21. Judging from recent exploits, she has the maturity level of probably a six year old.

OSS (20) Barely made it through HS (with the absolute lowest GPA you can possibly get to pass) and is aimlessly pinballing through life--with a few garage band gigs to pay for his pot habit and a job in a local casino as a dishwasher.

YSS (14) is following in his older siblings footsteps.

Comments

robin333's picture

Last night I was reflecting on whether or not I am too hard on DD. I was wondering what first DH would think about how she's maturing and doing in school. Reading this makes me feel some relief. Loving high expectations and allowing natural consequences may not be easy but I believe it does impact the potential of a child's future.

thinkthrice's picture

From what I've seen, it's better to err on the side of being too strict than too lenient. Both of my children launched at an appropriate age and are doing well independently.