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thinkthrice's picture

So my mother (88) was depressed enough to be on death's door a couple months back.  She had Awesomeson and Awesome Dil worried which they didn't need since Awesome son is serving a deployment until April overseas.

Now my parents have been religiously shunning me for a good two decades.  2 months ago my father decided to call me and tell me what was happening which normally I never get a call from them.  And before all this happened he adamantly refused to see me when Awesomeson offered to visit taking me along.  Which upset Awesomeson.

Well the medical staff that was performing practically hospice for my mother could not understand why I didn't hop a plane and immediately rush there.  I have very few good memories of my childhood other than being taken to see Gone With The Wind in a theater.  

I made my best attempts to do video sessions with her which were quite frequent.  She had several electrotherapy sessions and apparently rallied, is out of the hospital and back at home and we are back to crickets.

I did email my father with photos of our latest project and he basically replied "interesting."

  That was the last I heard from them.

Comments

grannyd's picture

Hey, TT,

At the risk of sounding like an armchair psychologist, reading about your cold and rejecting father sheds some light on why you accept such poor treatment from Chef. You are such a good, generous and hard-working person that Chef’s selfish behaviour has enraged me for many moons. 

Awesomeson’s success as an adult proves that you managed to rise above your upbringing to raise your own child effectively. I suggest that you continue to ignore your parents. They sound toxic and add nothing to your life but negativity. 

 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

If i remember correctly, when she says "religiously shunning", she actually means it, due to being raised in, if not a cult, a strict religious sect? That adds a whole other layer.

thinkthrice's picture

I was raised a Jehovahs Witness.  My father was a big wig in the organization.  They tend to recruit members who are going through hardship or loss.  During the 50s, the Premier of Quebec, Duplessis banned JWs which only heightened my parents zeal/fervor.   When we came along, we put an end to their traveling ministries and we were expected to be an example for all other children as model JWs.

After coming to the states in the 70s, my father very much enjoyed the limelight of the org and had speaking engagements at their conventions all throughout the northeast states and canada.  To this day, their whole life revolves around JW activities and proselytizing even at age 89 and 88.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

"we were expected to be an example for all other children as model JWs."

No pressure there! I can't imagine being told i had to be perfect because everyone's watching and judging. 

AlmostGone834's picture

Interesting. My BIL (DH's oldest brother) and his wife are JWs. And while overall I actually really like them and get along with them well (they are probably two of the more progressive/less zealous in the congregation even though they have been in since the 80's) I can see how that religion is super toxic. 

BIL I think stays because he really does love his wife who's family has been all in it but you can see over the years how he's become less enthusiastic overall. They make it so hard to leave because of the shunning and paradise earth talk. 

Im so sorry it happened to you. It's completely wrong the way families get torn apart like that (among a bunch of other harmful beliefs they have). Good for you for getting yourself out. 

thinkthrice's picture

Somehow remains in their good graces probably because she's The Golden Child but anyways she got baptized as a young teenager like I did but she did not write a formal letter of disassociation like I did. 

She always pretends that she's on the cusp of going full bore in the cult but she has no intentions of doing so and in fact has led a much wilder life than I ever did.  A life that would cause her to be kicked out for sure.

AlmostGone834's picture

So she's just playing their game. Trying to walk both sides of the fence so to speak. At least you are standing on your own two feet and living an authentic life (but unfortunately paying the price for it). I say good for you.

MissK03's picture

Not quite related but watch Escaping Twin Flames on Netflix. Scary world out there in cult land.