My DH said something sweet - Plus BM's crazy crap she pulls
We were discussing the recent crap the BM pulled where she told my husband that his daughters cry themselves to sleep every night because they miss their dad. Followed with I am not trying to make you feel guilty. He ignored the comment - me, I would have responded with a quick it must be hard to watch your children suffer so badly from the decesion you made to move them 8 hours away from me to be with a man that you were only married to for three months.
We cannot get the kids every other weekend or any weekend - it's a 8 hour drive each way so she won't let them come, not even on a extended school holiday. She tells us if we want to see them we have to go to arkansas and stay the weekend, which is impossible with my husband's work schedule. Now, she won't let us get them for spring break because she has plans to go see her family - i understand that but by her own accord, they NEED to see their dad and want to see her fam. She said we can get them late sunday - sunday - we would have to pay 100 for a babysitter that week and only get to see them for a few hours each evening and spend the day with them saturday - not sure how we should handle this.
Anyway - in response to that this is what he emailed me....
One of the things that I love about you is how fiery you are and how you will defend me and those kids to no end. That is one of the things that makes you who you are. I love you and I will think about things a little bit today and then tonight while we are walking we can talk about things and the next course of action.
- TheSaneOne's blog
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very vague - I met my DH in
very vague - I met my DH in the midst of the divroce, after it was too late to file an answer - they agreed to reasonable visitation - gauranteed two weeks in the summer and Christmas day to new years day. She is gauranteed two weeks in the summer with my stepson (also her X stepson) but he refused to go last year and I have her written permission saying that she would not force him to go - they haven't even spoken in almost two years.
It also doesn't state that we can take them out of state or that she can say we can't - pretty much from what I gather she has to let us see them once every six weeks - and she takes that to mean that she doesn't have to meet us halfway and she can stay at home, if we want them then we can come get them but it isn't that easy. she left him for another man and moved to this little tiny town in ark to get married to him and go to nursing school so her mom could help. Two years later and she divorced immediately and took a job as a nurses aide and has no plans to go to school now. She initially agreed to meet halfway but that is not in the papers.
I know we are going to have to spell it out in court clearer, but being out of state and raising our four here we haven't saved up the money for just the retainer of $2500 for an out of state attorney to handle it. He got screwed because he knew no better,
Dang, seems an impossible situation,
It will work out. If he kids are so miserable won't be long before they see for themselves. This makes me sad for all of you and curse the ex. What in the hell is she thinking?
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
GREAT NEWS!!!!!! THis was
GREAT NEWS!!!!!! THis was her responsive email. Where she speaks of the phone, my DH was on the phone with the oldest, 7, last week and she was hysterical crying that she wanted him. (BM had her call us - we had been calling for a few days with no response because she is never with the kids) In the middle of her crying the BB took the phone away to tell my DH something about her going on a truck run with her new "Man of her dreams" to Miami so she could drop the kids off to us for a few days...my husband hung up because it broke his heart to hear her crying like that and to once again have her take the phone away.....here's the email
...your thoughts?
I work Wed and Thursday. I guess I have to meet you on Friday. Then they can stay that weekend, that week, and I will meet you that Saturday to get them back. I am sorry if I didn't have Taylor call back and you didn't talk to Bella. I didn't take the phone from Taylor. I never do. I hand her the phone and let her do what she needs to. She chooses when she hands the phone back. She is worried you won't have clothes or an Easter dress for her. I am doing this for the girls, and the girls only.
Next question......one that has been asked and has been avoided....what are your plans for the girls this summer? Taylor has been asking and I am curious. I like to make plans in advance. It is much easier with my work schedule to do so. Also, I don't have a work schedule that is set. I work as I am scheduled, usually a months notice, but always subject to change. You can call the girls every night. They try to call you.
Regarding the clothes - we
Regarding the clothes - we have tons of clothes for them at the house as she never sends any which is fine. The youngest has about 20 dresses (my two daughters hand me down but barely worn) We always go above and beyond for them because the two seven year olds (My BD and his BD) have to have everything alike (they are two weeks apart)
I also dont see Taylor being worried about anything given the last few calls with her ends in teasrs and I want my daddy.
We haven't set summer vistiation in place yet because one, thats three months away, and two, we are waiting on his work schedule.
question
What state is the divorce in? I am guessing it is in your state therefore, it stays in your state. See if legal aid can direct you to forms and such so you don't have to get an attorney. You simply fill out the forms, stating what you want for parenting time and an affidavit backing it up, noting missed time and what was verbally agreed upon and then canceled and then you get a court date and send her a copy or have her served - depends on the state statue - and wait for her response or you go to court. If you spell out what you want and she does not have a response you will more than likely win what you have asked for and if she does not show you will win for sure. I know it can be a lot of work but it is worth it in the end.
The divorce was filed in
The divorce was filed in arkansas, her state. She waited exactly six months for residency requirements all the while telling my DH they might work it out so he didn't file. He really had no clue and no money to fight her since she took off with the entire checking acct when she left leaving him and his son destitute. If he had known me sooner I could have filed the divorce here and he would have gotten custody becuase in Ala. you can't leave the state with the kids without permission. One day we will be able to fight her - we have a checking act set up to put money into. She is bi-polar and has been cycling more frequently which worries us, that added to the depresion she states the 7 yo has. This woman is already on her 5th "man of her dreams" since she left almost two years ago.