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Dear DH, please make up your mind

thefunmommy's picture

Submitted by thefunmommy on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 10:39pm

More of a vent than anything else. Apparently DH can't decide whether or not I have responsibilities to the skids.
It's EXPECTED that I clean up after, well, everyone, skids included. It's expected that I make dinners. It's expected that I have the skids Saturday morning/afternoon while DH works-during that time it's expected that they are fed breakfast and lunch, homework done, rooms cleaned, and they are entertained. It's expected that I play with, help, and entertain the skids as necessary.
However, I research ways to help deal with SS7's Autism, "that's not your responsibility, you don't have to do that." I find a local Girl Scout troop for SD5 "You didn't have to do that, that's not your responsibility" I find a cheap little toy or craft for the kids to do/play with "Why'd you do that, you didn't have to"
Well, DH, make up your mind. Either they're partially my responsibility, or they're not. I don't mind taking partial responsibility for them, given you don't slack off. But you need to figure out what you want before I go insane.

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 11:16pm

YEP!

thefunmommy's picture

Submitted by thefunmommy on Mon, 03/05/2012 - 11:18pm

I feel like maybe I wasn't clear enough. I think, in typical guy fashion, he thinks that any/all activities, fun or otherwise, require the same amount of effort. When I do the "extras" he thinks I'm putting out extra effort. He does recognize that I HATE cleaning, and while it's kind of expected since I stay home with the baby and he has back problems, he does make sure he's appreciative (and he does help once in a while). To be honest, he does 80-90% of the discipline when he's here. I'm just totally lost on which "shit work" is supposed to be mine and which "fun stuff" is supposed to be mine, because I do get told some of the shit work isn't my responsibility as well, and some of the fun stuff (yay coloring) is all me. I'm just confused as hell. It seems like sometimes he's expecting me to half-ass with the kids (maybe because that's how BM was/is)

thefunmommy's picture

Submitted by thefunmommy on Tue, 03/06/2012 - 12:02am

I volunteered to take them when he worked years ago. He used to have to drive about an hour to drop them off with BM's family, and pay them, then go pick them up after working 12 hours, because BM refused to take them. I'm not "directed" to do anything, and he wouldn't like it if he tried.