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why does everyone want to talk to me about SS's BM?

TheCharm's picture

Its been almost 4 years now and I still hear about The Weasel from DH's friends, coworkers and family. They tell me stories (all of them bad) but I really don't want to hear it. I don't know how to tell them that I don't want to know about how bad their marriage was or what a crazy bitch she is. I already know. I'm sure they mean well...want me to feel like they like me more or something. But its just a painful reminder that the evil Weasel exists. Its like an intrusion on my peace of mind. DH hates to hear that I've gotten an earful too and says he'll tell them to stop doing it. I always beg him not to because I don't want to seem like a whiny overly-sensitive woman. It did get so bad with his own mother that he had to have a talk with her. It improved.
UGh...

Comments

stepmom2one's picture

My H's friends do this too. They don't tell stories but they always ask "So do you and BM get along" I say most of the time. They say "yeah she can be super nice if she wants to be but if she doesn't like you watch out"

Its like yeah I know I deal with this lady and her spawn I know what she is like. I just say "yeah I know"

I don't think that anyone will think you are been overly sensitive. I think it is good your H says something. He should just say "hey I don't want to even think about that woman, lets not remind me" after saying that a time of two maybe they will stop. Just a suggestion, that what my H did.

Abigail's picture

They often say and do stupid things without realizing it. Maybe you should just say something like "You know, it makes me sad to know what my poor husband has endured, please, let's talk about something happy!" or "I'd prefer not to dwell on the past, it would make me happier to think about our bright future together. We've got this wonderful vacation planned..."

I don't think that makes you seem whiny. There's nothing wrong with redirecting the conversation.

"Evil Stepmothers aren't born, it comes with the territory"

secondwife20's picture

about BM, both good and bad. I'm like I. Do. Not. Care. If you want to waste your time talking about that woman, do it else where.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Most Evil's picture

They just love to talk about BM! They have a weird way of laughing about stuff that to me is just sick, and I can't tell if they are really enjoying it or are trying to work through it?

But BM has now started calling my MIL again (after 14 years divorced) to give her side of our parenting issues - I can't stand that beyotch!! and my MIL says she can't either, but she does sit there and talk to BM?

I guess they are just polite but since BM opened her big mouth when we had not, I filled in my MIL on the truth of what BM's LACK of parenting has brought about - so MIL will not be so easily fooled in the future!! It still s*cks though - get over it woman!!!

"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
- Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), 'Pollyanna', 1912

tan868's picture

My situation is very similar. DH was married to a witch who took his 3 boys and everything years ago...............now when SS's are up for a visit, they reminisce with DH (although he tells me that he can't stand the ex) their past family life.........and witches name comes up all the time. There seems to be no concern for how I feel about hearing this shit all the time. I don't discuss my life with my ex and 3 kids........I don't need things that I say to be thrown up in my face at a later date. Unfortunately DH can get verbally viscious at times, as his family is 'better than mine' (well that's how he makes me feel sometimes...............

Yvonne35's picture

I would probably tell them to get over it, and ask why is this important for me to know? (even though you already know)

Yvonne35's picture

I would probably tell them to get over it, and ask why is this important for me to know? (even though you already know)

Yvonne35's picture

I would probably tell them to get over it, and ask why is this important for me to know? (even though you already know)