Work pity party and wondering about CS
Well my day is going SUPER well NOT. I'm sitting in the office doing work that really should be done by my team but it needs to get done before Monday so here I am. I also have to do a million and one things for the boss. I'll be here all until really late and I've done 60 hrs this week Mon to Fri. I'm beyond fed up. The worst thing is that I can't see this calming down in the forseeable. Mr Boss man has the great idea that I need to hire a senior team member to assist. NO, I don't need another "leader". I need worker bees. I'm depressed, tired and cried on my way in today.
The reason it can't be done by team member is that he is really new and shiny and has only done this task once under supervision. Since there is a hard deadline I can't let him experiment and figure it out. Dull but that's life.
Since I had the joy of coming into work, DH and YSS went for a lovely valentine's brunch. I told them to go but I'm annoyed at life. They have a date and I sit at my computer.
While throwing my own little pity party (its not pretty btw), I've been wondering what is BM going to do in 18 months when the CS stops? DH only pays now for MSS who is at university but it is still 80% of the original CS amount and seriously $$$$$. When the payments stop BM's household income will drop by about 80% by my estimates. I know it isn't my problem but I do wonder how she will cope. I don't think she's been planning properly for this. My big worry is that we have a huge drama when reality kicks in.
One of the annoying things is that MSS is going to finish college with $$$ of debt. He is paying for course himself (We don't do good scholarships, etc in this country). None of the CS is funding him. And amazingly it would be much cheaper for DH to pay the fees and pay for his accommodation than to pay BM. Sad really that he'll be starting out life with debts.
Does anyone else ever wonder this about BM? Am I going mad (Entirely possible)?
- TheAccidentalSM's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Pity party here as well; you
Pity party here as well; you are not alone!
MSS is living with BM but I
MSS is living with BM but I still think it is mad for him to be burdened with debts and her to get CS. He is hardly ever there as he spends most of his time with his GF's family. As far as I can make out when he is home he buys his own food, pays for his own car and insurance and other travel.
But DH can't afford to pay CS and tuition.
I bet your BM thinks that
I bet your BM thinks that your SO will just lie back and take it. Someone is in for a big surprise. }:)
Your BM will probably rent
Your BM will probably rent out one or both of her extra rooms to help pay for the difference when she loses child support.
To be fair to BM she does
To be fair to BM she does work. But she has a job that doesn't pay anything like the CS. I don't think she has the qualifications/experience to make any changes that would increase her pay.
I kind of pity her but at the same time I'm pleased for DH. He can put all the upside into pension funds/savings.
LOL. Its not my birthday but
LOL. Its not my birthday but thanks.
Tog, you are right. I don't really care what happens apart from a dread of drama waiting to unfold. The stream of text messages blaming DH. There is the comedy factor but its still a pain in the arse. But you are right again - I'm borrowing trouble.
I hate my boss too. I'm stuck
I hate my boss too. I'm stuck in middle management with all the responsibility and no authority. My boss is a shrimp and doesn't want to hold people accountable, so all the work gets dumped on me. Some days I wonder why I have the title of manager, I can't manage my team members because they won't do shit and I can't hold them accountable. Worse thing is I'm salaried, so my boss can justify in her head keeping me 60 hours a week to get stuff done. I've checked out and have led it a goal to apply to one job a day.
I think about the CS ending a lot. It's an extra $1000 a month back in my household. I could probably take a pay cut and find a job I like. When I was at ss13 therapy session, I saw that Bm had her nails done. I wonder how she will pay for those in 5 years. She works a $13 per hour job, part time. She has a husband but he doesn't work because he is "diabled", but he was well enough to make 4 kids with Bm. When the CS stops, Bm will have 4 kids under the age of 12 still living with her.
Nothing like a welfare story.
I don't hate Mr Boss Man. It
I don't hate Mr Boss Man. It just that he never asks for what he wants first time, he is relatively new and has no idea of the amount of work it takes to get the basics done and this also means EVERYTHING filters through me. Plus he's been messing around for 3 months with someone to do a full analysis of one of our departments spend. The other person has failed completely so now its back on my desk and I'm supposed to fix everything over night.
And we are having our monthly rundown of the numbers on Monday. I've already gotten grief for not doing a pre-brief. Well, it is a pity I lent the time machine to Dr Who cause the books closed at 6pm Friday night so there was no way it could physically happen.
Sorry about your CS situation, sounds like you have 5 years to go...
CS ending is so very not your
CS ending is so very not your problem. We got taken to court twice, there was drama and now it's over and it sucks to be BM. Too bad, I don't give a squirrel butt. She will have to be a big girl and deal with her own shit for once.
DH child support ended last
DH child support ended last month. The end of this month is the first time EVER BM won't get her GU check. Drama has already started to trickle.
OMG. I'm going to be here
OMG. I'm going to be here all night and have to come back tomorrow! The files are not working. Just had to email DH to say that I won't be making V day trip to the pub with him. He replied that he'd cook dinner. Had to tell him not to bother on my behalf as I won't be home. So sweet of him to offer.
At least he's studying for an MBA so he'll be able to get ahead with that.
My DH's CS ended a couple of
My DH's CS ended a couple of months ago, after 17 years of paying it dutifully. And yes, the shitstorm started before she received the last check.
Now... even though DH paid a helluva lot of CS all those years, and BM didn't work by choice (because her kids "needed her to stay home") she makes it DH's fault that the SK's don't have college tuition money. Sure, he was supposed to pay her an outlandish amount every month PLUS put $ away for two kids (twins) to go to college while she did.. what?? NOTHING.
We have helped with books and such for them, and DH's parents had set up accounts for them (for college or whatever) which had about $5000 for each kid so that has defrayed some of the costs. However, they also aren't all that into finding part time jobs for themselves, thinking that going to school 4-5 hrs a day is taxing enough (apples not falling far from the poisonous BM tree there).
I know DH would like to do more for them, but (and this may sound selfish) I also know that for ONCE in 17 years he'd like to enjoy life now that he can afford some of the things he hasn't since the mid-90's. And I'm a little jaded, because my parents couldn't afford to help me when I was in college so I did it all on my own thru student loans and part time jobs.
Our BM planned ahead. She had
Our BM planned ahead. She had a baby with a different guy, got a day care license so she could get government money for watching her grandchild AND became a foster parent.
Although I know that some people are actually in it to try to make a difference, I can't help but think that she learned that it is easier to make money off children than it is to actually have a job you have to go to every day. One of the reasons I think this is because she will have the older children take care of what the younger children need instead of doing it herself. :sick: