I think it depends on the situation.

If skid was saying 'mum says I can't have/do/go to blah because she has no money because YOU don't help' he should say (or I would say) 'I/your dad pays child support to your mother every month to cover those expenses, its up to your mother how she decides to spend that money' (or some such)

'mum says you don't have time for us/love us anymore because you have a new family now!'
'well you know that's not true, I have lots of love in my heart for ALL my family, that's you AND new wife/kids etc'

your airline example - I'd have reassured the kid that airlines have procedures in place that make it perfectly safe etc.

If its irrelevant stuff that you know is crap but really has no impact on you/OH or how the kid views you then meh whatever I'd let it go!

Your job isn't to be Switzerland, though. You're a stepparent. You're not a party to the BS. I see no reason for you not to say something when something needs to be said.

When my skids come over with some BM-coached BS, like DH should be paying for something, or whatever, dang skippy I correct them. She's full of crap, but I respect the truth well enough to tell it. My job is not to take care of the skids feelings. It's also not mine to be nasty, but I don't have to allow lies in my house.

That said, when it comes to my bioDD, it's another story. It *is* my job to take care of her feelings. It's my job to encourage a relationship with her dad. I will demur on issues with her.

When I have clear knowledge about an issue I will correct something. Such as...dad gives your mom money to help look after you etc. when sd states something that her mom has promised or said is going to happen that I can make a pretty accurate guess is not going to but it is a guess then i do not comment. So...my mom is going to move into her own house -no comment. My mom is going to get a puppy for me when we move into a house - no comment. I'm gonna my to have a stepdad soon - no comment. Etc....

I remember those days. I felt that the skids were always here fishing for information. Silence is golden. I too would just say "oh, really?" and things like that. Although I had to keep telling DH that he was giving out way too much info. Loose lips! Just remember that what ever you are telling will be repeated. Also remember that you can sometimes use that to your advantage. LOL

I agree with the previous comments. My sd, whom has been in my life since age 3, has often had whopping comments. I corrected her only when absolutely necessary due to her age. Now that she's 17, and actually when she was 15, I started being even more honest with her. She needed to know how much her dad sacrifices for her financially & emotionally. She has been given a lot more than she realizes and now she's old enough to hear truths. To this day,we're sick of hearing the praises of her mom & family when honestly they are mean, bigoted, controlling, selfish people. We don't go that far saying those things but we make it QUITE CLEAR that those views are unacceptable in this house.

When this sort of 'misinformation' is being used as PAS then it should absolutely and repeatedly be corrected. When it is about other matters then it's up to discretion really. Dad should deal with it.

I had a similar situation a few months ago where SS said something his mom said, about how since dad had lots of money for a boat, that dad should be giving mom more money... and I corrected SS. I was blasted here for having done so. Was told it was not my place.

While I won't trash BM in front of SS, I will absolutely continue to set him straight when he spouts off nonsense she's been filling his head with when it involves me, my home, my finances, my kids, or my relationship - if SO doesn't do it first. Gently, of course.

Correcting factual "errors" is important. If you don't do it, the fake reality will persevere. It all adds up. Offer proof if necessary. They ask because their instincts are telling them something's wrong. They need to learn to live a fact-based, evidence-based life, and trust their instincts.

Correcting factual "errors" is important. If you don't do it, the fake reality will persevere.

This^^^

The problem in our case was, we didn't know the crap that BM was filling SD's head with until she was about 15 (she was 5 when DH and I got together). So, for all of those years, she believed certain things about her father and about me. By the time it came out and we set her straight, a lot of damage had been done and there really is no going back.

SD is 26 and sometimes things still come out, SD believes certain things happened that did not. BM has filled her head with lies and false memories and when DH tells her the truth, she thinks that HE is lying.

It's messed up.

Our BM isn't really very confrontational, but she has some whacko ideas. She's one of these people for whom everything is an insurmountable struggle...who would prefer to just "go with the flow" and "leave well enough alone" even if it means losing a cool opportunity. I would best describe the skids lives with her as chaotic...especially when it comes to plans and finances. For all that...and for the issues and blindspots that DH and I no doubt have...I think the skids are turning out pretty well and remaining pretty level-headed. Though, anytime DH sees a "lazy, ridiculous BM trait" cropping up, he panics a bit. Especially with SS.

I wouldn't say that we "correct" her per se...but we do try to provide an alternate, and, perhaps, more balanced and hopeful perspective for the skids. Something a touch more ambitious for life as well.

**Edited to add: I get frustrated when I feel like DH is allowing YSD to run the show too much at our house...as I've blogged about on several occasions...but when I look at it from this viewpoint, I do understand why he wants to support and encourage initiative, risk-taking, and making plans. Got to try to keep that in mind...lol.

To answer your question,

I do not believe in untruths no matter what the age is.

Kids should know that MOM and DAD are to support their kids. AND that non cusotidal pays custodial.

Funny though when a kids asks,,WELL does my mom pay dad money for me when I am here with you and dad.

No sweetheart your mom doesn't.............

LOOK is priceless like wth