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SD Calling me mom?!?

teri199718's picture

Submitted by teri199718 on Fri, 03/25/2011 - 9:12pm

:jawdrop: So my 10 yr old SD wants to call me mom. I am flattered and appreciate this!! I am. However, I have only been in the picture for 3 years and it is a little awkward (sp).?. I am however much involved with her, we have residential custody, she stays with us a lot even when it is her BM's time. Her mom is a real peice of work. My SD has a facebook (we do keep careful watch on this and have passwords and all that) and she put me down as her mother. What should I do. Everyone, including her counselor, says to allow her to call me mom, if I am comfortable with it. Help! What do you guys think?

Comments

tootie25's picture

Submitted by tootie25 on Fri, 03/25/2011 - 9:17pm

I would take it as a compliment! She's obviously reaching out to you and since she doesn't have her mom in the picture much- from what it seems- then if I were you I'd let her! Not to say you would be "replacing" her BM in anyway, I called my SM mom and it was because I really did lookat her as another mom. But I still had a good relationship with my mom. And my SS calls me mommy every once in awhile, without prompting, but his mom would flip so we don't encourage it.
I think you're lucky to have a SK who wants you around and seems to genuinely care for you.

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Fri, 03/25/2011 - 10:00pm

My SS the weekend DH and I got married asked me if he could call me Mom - I said yes - we did have him full time for 3 years - live 700 miles from his mom - he was 9 - now he is 17 and still calls me Mom - if she wants to call you Mom then let her - you may hear on this site that you should not let her but if that is what she wants and you don't mind then go for it!! We all bitch on here that our skids hate us and we can't get along with them but then when one wants to call one of us Mom we don't know if we should let them. If her counselor says it is okay - I don't think you need any more prompting than that!!

You have been in her life for 3 years - you are a mom and now listen to your daughter!!

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Sat, 03/26/2011 - 10:07pm

I think it becomes a comfort level. Since she is asking I would go for it. Most of the step parenting articles and books I have read has suggested that skids call their sp mom or dad regardless that it enforces the level of parental respect. I would never have broached that subject with Skids but they were eowe, and my odd has a wonderful dad.

teri199718's picture

Submitted by teri199718 on Sun, 04/03/2011 - 1:38pm

I thank all of you for your advice. I think we are going to ease into and see what happens. She calls me mom to her friends and she says it in stuff she makes me...so we will see. THanks!!

teri199718's picture

Submitted by teri199718 on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 1:53pm

Yeah I did, considering her one brother from her mother was taken to Texas because his dad got custody and to keep in touch with her other brother and sister and other family members from her moms side. Yes, I did. It is monitored daily by me. She doesn't know that it is lying about her age and furthermore, do you know how many people do that. And, I was asking for advice on a more important issue than the facebook thing. But thanks anyhow!!