Wow, your MIL has some nerve throwing your pan away. I'm glad your husband said something to her.

Shoot, let her do all of the cooking and you relax for a change. She can feed her son and his heathens.

Really she just showed UP with her luggage. hahahaha

Truth be told some cultures are like that. RUDE....just saying.

That pan would be more immediately hazardous to her if you'd have smacked her over the head with it after retrieving it. 

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/cooking-tools/cookware-reviews/a17426/n...

Wow.. having your MIL over must be an additional stress that you just don't need right now with your DH not working and money being so tight.  I can see feeding another person will be tough.

It also sucks that she is so overbearing.. inviting herself and then taking over in your home.

That being said.. she is a bit right about the pan.  nonstick pans that have been overheated and are scratched/flaking are supposed to be thrown out.  Yeah.. I am certain I have some in my own kitchen though..lol.  And.. I'm sure that the moderate amount of toxin ingested from using a pan a little longer than you should?? probably won't kill anyone.  Right now, I know replacing pans isn't going to be high on the priority list.. but I would look to do that when it can be afforded.

Also, I want to tell you something very important.  If you are seeking mental health services because of your relationship and you never needed them before?  I wouldn't be worrying about the pans in your kitchen.  Your MARRIAGE is making you sick.  I'm not saying that people shouldn't seek couple's counseling.. or even have a sounding board to help them work through adjustment issues... but a psychologist?  You are literally allowing this man and his family to drive you insane.

You need to put an end to this.  Pack your stuff.. go stay with family for a while.. get your head clear.  Stop paying his bills and take care of yourself.

Sounds like MIL & BM have a lot in common when it comes to being intrusive antagonists.

The big dangers in non-sticks are due to overheating.  

PFOAs aren't great (understatement) but they're in so.many.things. Not to say it's okay to ingest the Teflon coating from a banged up frying pan but if MIL is going to throw out anything containing PFOAs (not non-stick) or manufactured using PFOAs in the process (non-stick) with the potential to be absorbed/ingested she's going to have to step down from her high horse to throw out all sorts of things, not just be dramatic about your scratched pan.  She could start with the fast food/take out containers BM tries to grace her babies with while at their father's house "starving."  Pfft.

I'd ask her where she's going to find the time to paint your house if she's spending all of it taking inventory.  What a pain in the butt.

That aside, do everything you can to take care of you.  Doesn't sound like anyone else has thought to do such a thing let alone actually attempted it.  Take a break from the chaos however you can and heal yourself.  Baby steps are still steps.  : )  

What BS. I understand the problem with the pan. 

BUT!

It is not up to your MIL to decide the fate of your freaking pan. Maybe you want to make some funky kitchen decor. Maybe you want to put a pan holster on your belt and arm yourself with that pan.

Bottom line: IT'S YOUR FREAKING KITCHEN/PAN.

You have a DH problem and I think you should take that pan and stick it up his backside. 

Oh, and MIL needs to GTFO.

Where in this universe does your MIL think it's ok to throw out something that is yours and to come to your house uninvited? I can't comprehend how this works and your H needs to shut this f@ckery down.