BM just does whatever she wants!!

So DH was calling the optometrist to get the prescription for SS's glasses yesterday and he was going to take him next week to pick some out. Then yesterday DH gets a text message from BM telling him that she bought SS's new glasses and that he needs to pay for them. After she made a big deal that DH needed to get SS new glasses since he lost them on his visitation time and DH was doing just that. So what was the point of telling DH to buy SS new glasses then not giving him the prescription and vision insurance information. Was it all just a game to her? She does what she wants any way and then expects everyone else to abide by what she says. DH just told her that he was going to buy SS a new pair of glasses when he comes next week for the summer since that was what they agreed upon. I don't understand how someone just continually does what they want and not follow a CO or an agreement especially if it involves money. BM bought the most expensive glasses of course and then expects DH to pay for the full amount.

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Of course she did! Hail to

Of course she did! Hail to the Queen.

Don't give in - if your SS has vision insurance and she CHOSE to purchase glasses not covered that is on her. If your DH has shared legal, anything elective needs to be agreed upon.

Simply say:

Thank you for purchasing SS's glasses, what a great gift! Could you please still send me the vision insurance information so that I have it for any future issues that take place during my custodial time? A quick pic of the card will do. Unfortunately I cannot afford to purchase glasses not covered under the insurance, as you just did, so I will need this information asap.

Then ignore all attempts of BM trying to strong arm you. These women live to cause misery.

We go through similar stuff

We go through similar stuff with BM, and it is so frustrating and exhausting.

I would either give her the amount you were planning on spending and not a penny more, or just take him next week as agreed upon and he will have a back-up pair.

Just last night SS11 got to our house, he has a field trip today where he is going on a hike, BM tells SS to tell his dad that he needs hiking boots for the fieldtrip and since it is during our time with him we are responsible for buying them!!! He's 11 and he's going for a walk in the woods, not hiking the Long Trail! Where do these women come up with this stuff?????

It is all a smoke screen. Has

It is all a smoke screen. Has nothing to do with glasses (or boots) but instead their huge ego.

These BMs have this insane need to have these men jump at their every command. And they use shared kids as an excuse, because they can.

I have lost count how many times I have heard, "but if I don't do what she says skids will suffer".

What?! Suffer from what? Not getting new shoes? Ah man that is real abuse!

Come on now!

Great. She wasted her money.

Great. She wasted her money. DH can go buy SS glasses, and then keep them at his house for the weekends SS is over. If she wants to play stupid games, she'll win stupid prizes.

Good job, BM. You just played yourself.

This woman loves the drama. I

This woman loves the drama. I would tell her that it was understood that he was to get the glasses and if she went against that and got them on her own, than that's on her. I wouldn't entertain anymore text messages from her after that. She enjoys the back & forth, so don't entertain her.

Okay, I'm going to get

Okay, I'm going to get blasted, but devil's advocate here. Normally I would agree that BMs are nasty, greedy, controlling bishes, but...

What if you bought your skid expensive high-end basketball shoes, and BM lost them and skid came back with Walmart canvas flat tennis shoes?

DH wouldn't buy his kid

DH wouldn't buy his kid expensive shoes because he cannot afford them. But if my DH did buy SS an expensive pair of shoes then it was his choice and his money however BM would not be responsible because both parents are at fault because of lack of structure and responsiblity on their part.

Then I would learn to not let

Then I would learn to not let my kid take expensive things to that parent's house. And I would look at my preteen and say, "tough cookies, this is a consequence of making poor choices; you aren't getting expensive things again."

Ultimately, though, in this situation, I am assuming OP's DH paid for a portion of thr glasses lost in the ocean, either through CS or medical payout. It's not like BM was solely responsible for buying the lost pair. The fact that DH is buying a new pair solely out of his own funds is consequence enough.

Plus, BM has the option of telling Dad, "hey, it's really important to me that DS have these $300 glasses, so let me know what you plan on spending and I'll cover the rest." That would be the most reasonable solution to this situation if BM were adament about expensive glasses.

I dont understand why BM

I dont understand why BM would think that it's your DH's responsibility to purchase hiking boots if she knew about the field trip and she wanted the kid to have them. It her responsibility and they didn't even agree on anything like that. It's all about what they can get out of these men I guess.

She is just always trying to

She is just always trying to make DH look like a bad dad,to everyone and anyone who will listen. She will tell SS I'm sure dad and Coco have hiking shoes, or dad makes so much more money than I do, and it's just him and Coco, I have other kids I have to support. (does she forget that not only do we have 50/50 custody but we also pay child support, AND the other kids dad pays child support as well).

She also sent DH an email asking him if he wanted to keep SS through Monday because it's a 3 day weekend, when DH responded that he will drop SS off at normal time on Sunday (because ANY deviation from CO causes problems) she replied that she just thought he would like to spend more time with his son, but obviously not!!!! Totally made him feel like a piece of *#@%. I had to remind him that it goes both ways, why isn't she wanting to spend the day with him? It's her scheduled time!

Yeah manipulation game what a

Yeah manipulation game what a freaking reptile!!!

Then yesterday DH gets a text

Then yesterday DH gets a text message from BM telling him that she bought SS's new glasses and that he needs to pay for them.

Denied!

Your husband needs to stand his ground.