Please help
I have been with my fiancé for 5.5years. I already had 3 children now aged 16,11,8 and he had 3 now aged 21,19,18. Together we have a son 2yrs old and a daughter 6months old.
He is from Scotland but moved to wales with his job and we met 3years later. His eldest daughter blames me for him being here. She thinks I tricked him into having the two babies with me.
She has NEVER uttered a word to any of my children. She has openly told everyone that she hates me and that she will never consider her half siblings as any relation to her.
Recently we were at a&e with our 2yr old and once home I contacted all my family and I heard him on the phone to my youngest stepdaughter so I naturally assumed he had told everyone as well.
HOW WRONG WAS I???
I posted a status on my Facebook last night to say thank you for everyone's kind comments and get well wishes for our son and BAM she starts swearing at me and calling me the most horrific names all over my Facebook! Turns out he had only told the 18 and 19 year olds and no one else. Next minute she texts me saying I'm poison and have ruined her life keeping her dad here. I have put up with this shit since I met him but only off her. Now the other two who I thought I was close to have sided with her. I'm beside myself because for my well being I know I should walk away as I've had postnatal depression for over 2 years now and I'm scared of how ill she is making me.
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Home from a&e means we got
Home from a&e means we got home from taking our son to accident and emergency. He was meant to tell his daughter that our son had an accident. He has always allowed her to speak to me like it. He would rather fall out with me than her because his kids live 500 miles away. We visit twice a year and the younger two visit us 5 times a year but she has only been twice.
ha ha... I thought A & E
ha ha... I thought A & E meant "American Eagle" (it's a U.S. clothing retailer) I was so confused as to why this would be such an issue with your step daughter??
Geesh, even so, why in the world was she yelling at you and not her father? Was your son being at the hospital some significant event in his girl's life seeing as how she's only ever even visited you twice? Sounds like she is just looking for anything to bitch about.
Why exactly is SD upset at
Why exactly is SD upset at you? Is it because she wasn't informed of her little half brother's injury/illness? She needs to be upset at her dad, not you. Why would she even care if she has already told people she will never consider your youngest two kids her siblings? I don't like to air dirty laundry on facebook but in this case I really would remind your oldest SD just that.
She never gets mad with her
She never gets mad with her dad it's always me
It's easier for the SD21 to
It's easier for the SD21 to blame you than face the fact it's her father who has made decisions she doesn't like or that have hurt her.
Her father made a choice to move 500 miles from his children. He made the choice to remain there and to build a life there. He also made the choice to decline telling SD21 about the accident his little one was seen in emergency for. It's likely she's much more hurt and angry that Dad told her siblings than the fact he didn't inform her. She's made it very clear she doesn't want any part of you or your youngest children nor does she care a twit about the little ones. So when she sees the FB about you thanking people for their concern and support over the accident she felt publically exposed for the uncaring twit she is. Thus the anger...by not knowing while everyone else did she was shown to her friends/family for the reality of her real relationship with her little siblings. Of course none of that is your problem nor are you to blame...it is what it is.
Block her. You 'owe' this SD21 nothing, nor do you have to tolerate her childish rants. She can't bad mouth you if you block her on FB and refuse to take any calls with her. A few clicks on FB and poof, she'll be gone. If your husband is telling you what she says to him and/or trying to discuss SD21 has hurt fee-fees , tell him you do not wish to hear it. It's his daughter, his problem, and you're done allowing him and his daughter to dump and blame their issues at your feet.