I took My blog down becuase...

I was looking for good advise but some people were just on my page to criticize. I will end up posting more as things develop.

Super Woman's blog
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I am sorry... I didn't see

I am sorry... I didn't see your original blog. There are so many posters these days it is hard to keep up!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

It's just about the crazy ex

It's just about the crazy ex and her attachment to my BF. Its hard to be an almost step parent and deal with the crazy x!

SuperWoman,,, I feel you

SuperWoman,,, I feel you there and I am a SM...For me the problems 99% of the time go back to my DH ex wife.

She likes to stir the pot, because DH and I have been together for so long and she has no one..It causes resentment, hatred, and PAS which is the hardest thing I have dealt with...

You know, if my BF's X would

You know, if my BF's X would just go find someone else to bother everything would be great. But no, she makes it her #1 to attack him and annoy me. Thank god she leaves my skids out of it!

Hi superwoman I was just

Hi superwoman I was just wondering I'm new on here what does DH stand for?

Dear Husband... unless he is

Dear Husband... unless he is being lame, then it means d*ck head.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

I think MOST of us can relate to THAT! I am sorry that your first blog didn't result in the feedback you were looking for. I hope you stick around a bit...maybe you can learn from some other posts, and try again...?

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

I plan to. It looks like I

I plan to. It looks like I have a long hard road ahead of me with this X and she will not go away anytime soon! And hopefully people who want to say mean and unhelpful things wont post on my blogs!

Well... unfortunately, that

Well... unfortunately, that happens here! You just have to weed through and take the nuggets of good advice as they come and apply them to your situation as best as possible, and let the NAY SAYERS roll off your back. Lots of differing opinions on this site! LOTS!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

I don't think I saw the

I don't think I saw the original blog either...I have been on almost 3 weeks and I have made some amazing friends..Are we always going to agree.. no... but as for me I am here to help when I can..as are most of the women on this site... and a couple of men also..

I appreciate the people who

I appreciate the people who try to give sound advice it is very helpful. What is not helpful is people who want to tell me what I was doing wrong. I think the person who was being rude on my first blog was a mom in the situation of my BF's X. So sorry if I offended her by saying that there was a person out there as crazy as she is!

Hope you're not dating my

Hope you're not dating my exHusband..

I'm the BM to two wonderful boys.

Are you stalking me??

(Totally kidding. I just saw that you were in Colorado )

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

lol...you got me for a sec

lol...you got me for a sec there. No this X has my phone number which she calls on occasion to harass me!

My ex is happily single. I

My ex is happily single.

I was only kidding.. it's not me.

You'd be here talking about how great a BM I am... but that 14 year old boy drives you half nuts.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Lol.. That's funny that ur

Lol.. That's funny that ur boy is 14. My skids are 12 and 14, boys. They r a crazy bunch!

See evidence to that you are

See evidence to that you are not my kids stepmom.

My youngest is 10.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

(No subject)

i ws your criticizer. but

i ws your criticizer. but please...fail to tell the women that your bf is married. has been married for three years. that he is not getting a divorce and is still supported by his wife. all because she has the health insurance.

now...see what they say.

I don't owe u anything. I

I don't owe u anything. I told u on my last blog stop! What do u need to prove. I didn't call u out by name so f off!

you can call me names. but

you can call me names. but no advice you get here will be helpful if you are not upfront about your situation. hard to solve an "ex" problem when there is no ex.

deleted

Well this turned sour

Well this turned sour quick... didn't it?!

Look... we all have our stories, and everyone has skeletons in the closet. You have to expect to be criticized when you are throwing something out there that is not "politically correct" on some level. I don't know the story, and I didn't read the original blog, but folkmom is usually a pretty level headed person. I am taken back that she was the one that was giving you a hard time.

I am not here to judge. I have made some stupid mistakes of my own in my lifetime... just take a deep breath, share as much or as little as you like... and see if this site is the place you wanna be...

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

i told her that he bf is the

i told her that he bf is the problem. not the ex.

the deal is this. the guy is married. separated for three years. but married. the kids have a stepmom (is wife) who they consider mom. they share custody and the kids still see their actual stepmom a lot.

stepmom (actual wife) has the bf here and the kids on her insurance.

according to the poster...the reason he has not gotten a divorce is that once he does there will be no more insurance.

so i asked (legit question) why the hell is this guy so damn lazy that he could not get a job and get his own insurance for his kids in three years?

add to this..in her original post she says bf and the wife argue for hours and hours on the phone.

her question was..what to do about the ex? i said...the ex is not the problem.

fact is...poster is the mistress. the guy is not getting a divorce anytime soon.

am i mean and blunt to point it out? maybe. but how do you sugarcoat those facts?

basic gist...you cannot

basic gist...you cannot solve an ex problem...until there is an actual EX.

lol.

and...how do you date a man who is married...and does not appear to be getting divorced anytime soon? because if he got divorced he would have to GASP OMG GASP "get his own insurance".

I agree that BF has to take

I agree that BF has to take ownership of HIS role in the problem. I think there are plenty of us on this site that started dating our DH's before the divorce was final... but in this case, there are no plans of divorce.

Interesting dynamic. I think it is a fair question SW that may have come out of the mouth of a poster that you got off on the wrong foot with.

Asking these questions with the true intent of trying to understand the situation better:

Why doesn't BF get his own insurance?

Are you OK with the fact that he has NO intention of getting divorced any time soon?

Can you possibly see how BF plays a role in fighting for hours with her, why doesn't he just hang up?

There are a LOT of posters here that are frustrated that their BF's or DH's continue to engage in pointless arguements with the EX. But in this case... she is not his ex. She may be feeling USED and hurt by his behavior. Can you see any of that at all? I am not saying that the EX is 100% right. I am just saying that BF may not be 100% innocent in this.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

what you said:) lol. i

what you said:) lol. i have had a long week , and it is getting longer...my ability to be eloquent like yourself is at the short end:)

Folk Honey...it's only

Folk Honey...it's only Tuesday!!

SuperWoman... I hope you can see where the questions are coming from... not from a judgemental aspect, but from a trying to gain understanding of the situation aspect... does that make sense??

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

i am running a HUGE charity

i am running a HUGE charity event saturday. i have been planning it for 9 months. so this is it...final meeting was tonight...it is details, details, details...and then roll out of event. worse than planning a wedding.

Silver is right on the

Silver is right on the money. His kids have ashma and if they lose INS it is a big problem. The situation is complicated and u don't know enough to judge. She is the x just because she dosent have the title dosent mean anything.

What u forgot to say is that this crazy x threatens to kill herself if my bf does anything to up set her. Now I know that's not an excuse but the kids love her and they already lost their bio mom. Would u be over touchy about this x threatning to off herself. I know I am!

so again: why can he not get

so again:

why can he not get insurance?

and

so you are ok with the fact he will never get divorced?

I am sure there are plenty

I am sure there are plenty of side stories to this that would take pages and pages... that is the thing about forums, no one really knows the WHOLE story except YOU!

Hoenstly though, if this is something that BF and EX have agreed to, then I think it might be time for BF to put a stop to all the fighting and phone calls. Tell your BF that I said this "letting a call go to VM work WONDERS on a BM!!". It will slow down, if he starts to take some control of it! Seen it work a hundred times on this site!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

Maybe I just don't know how

Maybe I just don't know how that stuff works, but could she keep them on insurance even if they divorce? Does she plan on staying in the boys' life?

"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

and in three years...looking

and in three years...looking into state run health insurance?

technically, that stepmom could be on the hook for child support etc...depending on the state they live in. i think that is unfair. she is not the bio. which leads us back to why the bio is unable to support himself or his kids.

deleted

The kids were never adopted

The kids were never adopted by her so she won't ave to pay child support

i never preface:) why couch

i never preface:) why couch something...say what you mean.

SW has repeatedly refused to answer why he cannot get insurance for himself. which leads me to conclude the answer is really bad.

He can't get INS because he

He can't get INS because he dosent have a full time job. He picks the kids up from school and drops them off and can only do this with a art time job.

Off Topic-I LOVE your

Off Topic-I LOVE your link..LMAO

~Never interrupt your enemy when she is making a mistake.~

~No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.~

Because she did not adopt

Because she did not adopt the kids when my bf and her got married the INS ends when the divorse is final. There is no way to keep them on and I can't add them to mine unless were married. He doesn't want them on gov INS cuz it sucks so the only other optionis pay for high premiums from a private co.

I kept my ex on my insurance

I kept my ex on my insurance until our divorce was final. It was just easier that way. And it took YEARS for our divorce to be final. But are you ok with the fact that he is not looking to get divorced? And is he looking for work to try to resolve this whole issue?

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

The steps are being taken

The steps are being taken for divorse. So that's really not an issue. The issue is the insurance. It is a slow process to get a divorse ESP with how hard she is making things!

ok i am done. this is the

ok i am done. this is the excuse factory.

he could have had a divorce in a year or less. three years is ridiculous. i bet he has no lawyer. i bet not a single paper has been filed. lol.

insurance is not an issue if he mans up and gets some for himself. period. clearly you just want to make excuses.

ok i am done. this is the

ok i am done. this is the excuse factory.

he could have had a divorce in a year or less. three years is ridiculous. i bet he has no lawyer. i bet not a single paper has been filed. lol.

insurance is not an issue if he mans up and gets some for himself. period. clearly you just want to make excuses.

I'm glad! Your opinion is

I'm glad! Your opinion is better kept to yourself. Like I said I do not need to prove anything to you!

so think about that... free

so think about that...

free govt insurance (for asthma for god's sake...) versus divorce. and he picks staying married and his wife's insurance.

ok.

and you see no problem with this? you are truly ok with being his mistress forever, or at least until the kids have their own jobs with health insurance.

WOW. I'm sorry you're going

WOW.
I'm sorry you're going through all this. I don't know the whole story, obviously. But, something caught my attention; "He doesn't want them on gov INS cuz it sucks so the only other optionis pay for high premiums from a private co."
That was something you said that doesn't sound right. I'm sorry, but this really does sound like an excuse. I don't know if you came up with this or he did, but it's ridiculous. I KNOW state insurance is not the best. I have been there and done that in the past. BUTTTTT You know what????? It's truely better than having none and from the sound of it these children really need it for their health problems. And, I'm not sure if the dept. of social and health services is different in other states but here, in WA. they pay ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!!!!! Yes, that's right! DSHS pays 100% of ALL medical and ALL dental for children and adults who need their coverage. You should inform your BF of this Because if my children needed medical I wouldnt give a damn who the insurance is coming from as long as they could see a doctor

Hope this helped.

Torn

~Never interrupt your enemy when she is making a mistake.~

~No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.~

Blah.

Jen, you are so funny. "I

Jen, you are so funny.

"I have always loved the time before dawn because there is no one around to remind me who I am suppose to be, so it is easier to remember who I am." - unknown

People need to stop whining

People need to stop whining just bc someone has a difference in opinion or asks hard questions. Grow up. Acting like a poor,innocent baby girl crying "woe is me someone picked on my blog so I deleted it...pity me" is NOT going to help you change your situation. Being the victim is fine,when you really are a victim which you clearly are not. Do some research about insurance, look into other plans and ways to do things...people manipulate the system all the time. You have other options you just have to find them and stop blaming the woman your boyfriend is married to...she isn't doing anything out of the ordinary so accept it so you can move around it. But for f**ks sake, quit being such a baby about it dear.

lol BBB. lol. i was just

lol BBB. lol.

i was just wondering too...hy can't he get a FT job? just because he has to pick up kids at school? don't they have buses where you live?

Spot on as usual Barbie!

I'm gonna agree with folkmom

I'm gonna agree with folkmom here. Sounds to me like he's making excuses for either A)Being lazy or still having an emotional attachment to the wife.

I'm gonna go with B), just because if you **really** wanted out of a marriage...nothing is going to stop you....trust me on that.

Why can't he get a full time job?
Why can't he check into gov't assisted insurance?

It really sounds to me like he's still holding onto this marriage just incase things go sour with you. His marriage is his safety net.

You have a choice between a man who is still married and may never get divorced and commit fully to you or a man who is 100% available to you, emotionally and physically. Why are you choosing the first man? And if your answer is Love......What's love got to do with it?

______________________________________
"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments, they've had the same argument hundreds of times."

And before this thread takes

And before this thread takes a really bad turn. Please people.....stop and think what you're saying!!! Do you really NEED to say some of this? Seriously!!

Dawn

Hmmmmmmmm, well... I think

Hmmmmmmmm, well... I think the bottom line here is...if your complaint is that they are fighting constantly and for hours on the phone, maybe you need to talk to BF about CONTROLLING this. She can't fight with him if he isn't listening. He has the power to put an end to it, it is called HANG UP.

This woman sounds like she is hurt and feeling used, and women react when they feel this way. Divorce is never easy. I am glad to hear that he is taking steps to the divorce, and I think he should look in to full time work and hiring someone to get the kids after school and whatnot... or maybe they can take the school bus. There just has to be a better way of doing things rather than staying married for kids insurance. The two of you need to sit down and get a game plan together. Seriously... before you both allow this to destroy your relationship.

JMHO

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

Thanks to everyone for all

Thanks to everyone for all of your input on my issue. Thanks folkmom for taking the lead and letting everyone know my issues because you clearly know more than I do on the issue. Thanks to everyone who actually gave helpful info I will talk some of this information and really talk to my BF. I know we have issues to discuss. For all of you who were just in this to criticize and tell me what I was doing wrong I feel sorry for you. For you to attack like that must mean that someone really f**ed you over and I truly do feel sorry for you!

You are here

I took My blog down becuase...

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