My idiot husband....
So me and the husband were out christmas shopping a few days before christmas.
He tells me that he wants to get my oldest daughter who is 15 and my youngest step daughter who is also 15 a mini labtop and that they could use them in school.
I told him I was very uncomfortable with providing them with that given the details that SD likes chatting with every tom d*ck and harry online and how my daughter is never on the computer.
So we buy them both a mini labtop.
Christmas comes and my daughter tells me that she did not want a labtop and that she wanted to take it back. She felt it would cause to many problems and was shocked that we gave sd one. I was very proud of my daughter for being so grown and mature about the whole thing. She told me she did not see her needing a labtop until her Senior Year Christmas which she could use at college.
So we take the labtop back.
Mean while sd is not putting hers down. She is so thrilled that daddy dearest got her such a gift. WEB cam and all!!
Well the lord above must be sending us a signal.
A year ago I purchased a program to monitor my kids every move on the interent. I would get emails and I was able to hide the program. For some reason I was not able to pull up the program nor was I getting emails which the emails were of the girls conversations when instant messaging.
During my vacation, I repainted my living and moved the home computer,,,, all of a sudden my email fills up all these conversations where the girls have been chatting.
My sd,,, has been having cyber sex... NOW I almost threw up. The details were disgusting and sickening and repulsive!! Talked about how she was going to buy a WEB cam when she got money,,,,,,,,,,,,,
WELL guess what,,, dont fear my little sd, daddy dearest just provided one to ya for nothing!!!
So after that I began to view the history in the computer,,, PORN SITES,, watching sex videos, lesbian kissing, vampire freaks. All of that was on there.
SO I email all this to my husband and her conversations,,,
I tell him on Friday of last week that he needed to review his emails and start thinking of some serious rules if he was going to allow her to keep that labtop...
GUESS what,, its monday and I just went into his email,, he hasnt looked at the FIRST email I sent. I am furious!!
He has said nothing to her other then "Sunshine has seen some activity on the computer that we dont approve and we will talk about it later" Later has never come and she is still waltzing around with her mini lab top on cloud nine!
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Comments
Grrrrr
I would be mad and upset too! She would be losing some of that freedom for sure.
You could build a beach with all of the sand your Dh is burying his head in!!
He better open his eyes!!
Dawn
How Sweet
Isnt that something? Dear ol' dad doesnt even care! Maybe he will care when she comes home pregnant and he is raising her baby. But if he is anything like my FH he probably still wouldnt care. It amazes me.. im sorry youre going through that. I suppose if I were you I wouldnt wait for him to bring it up, I would myself. Who cares if you cross lines, nobody else seems to give two sh*ts!! I would print it all up and hand it to her and tell her in your home things like that will NOT be tolerated and she can run to her dad all she wants but this is YOUR rule and he cant do a thing about it.
Ive had to take things from my SD's myself. They are younger than she is, the one is 13 and doesnt remove herself from her nice new computer in her room, only to eat and shower and her dad never thinks to check what she is doing. These guys are going to have major issues one day and not have a clue as to what to do.
Sunshine, please take my advice on this
Do everything in your power to keep YOUR DAUGHTER safe.
And let your DH handle his "innocent, precious snowflake"
Because if you TRY to keep him informed (as you have) and keep her safe (as you have)all it will do is come back to bite you in the a$$ (as it has) and make you always out to look like "the bad guy".
I used to try to do this with my SDs. All 3 had public Myspace pages, laptops in their rooms where they could (and still can) be online, doing whatever they want until all hours of the night. And DH is totally oblivious to it all. And when I tried to warn him, there was "always an innocent explanation"
HA! I say again, HA!
So, sunshine, I just gave up and let it all go. Let them do whatever they want. Let them talk to online pervs. I'm done. I've tried. And when something bad ever happens, I can sit back and just put my hands up. But one thing I will never be again is "the bad guy".
I'm that enough in other ways!
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Dangers of teens on the internet (long post)
I feel like I could write a book on this...
SD has been an internet addict since she was around 10. Unknown to us, she was in chat rooms in the middle of the night, and then discovered MySpace. Thank God kids are dumb, because she left her messages up on the screen. She was initiating cyber sex wth strangers and even gave out our address, where we worked, etc. on her home page. Some of the people sounded like adults posing like teens, predators, I'm sure.
Trust me, there were groundings, fights and we even took the computer away, but it was too late. She continued to communicate with these folks texting and sending downloads on her cell phone. The damage - $2,000+ over 3 months. We cancelled her phone.
She is now 18 and I feel like the internet and people she associated with took her innocence away. She negative, surly and I recently had to kick her out for nearly destroying my home.
If you are going to allow SD to use the internet, be sure to keep a close eye on her and her activity. Do not tell her you are monitoring. She will get sneakier and her activity will be harder to track.
If we had to do it over again, DH and I would have never let her use the computer, but it is too late for that.
Best of luck, and if you need some computer activity tracking advice, let me know.