Life goes on without SD9!
My SO and I had a big fight yesterday. A lot of words were exchanged. He said something about how I like to do fun things with my kids and take them out to eat a lot and enjoy my time with them when SD9 is with her BM. Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I do! When SD goes to visit her BM, she is over there having fun, eating out every day, doing activities, etc. Why in the world would I not be taking advantage of the ONLY time that I get alone with my kids? SD is ALWAYS here! She's only gone for a total of seven weeks throughout the entire year! I have to be the full-time mother and I hate it. When she is with her BM, she hardly calls us, she has a good time, and her grandmother spoils her. She has no rules and she isn't with them long enough to get grounded or disciplined for anything. She feels like she's got it made over there. I work hard, my ex-DH pays child support, and my SO and I split the bills and keep our finances completely separate. If I want to take my kids out every day and spend crazy amounts of MY MONEY on MY KIDS while SD is gone, that's totally up to me! Life goes on when SD isn't here and I don't care how her daddy feels about that. I despise being a step-parent.
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Comments
What in the world? Why would
What in the world? Why would he be upset that you are having a good time with your kids? Are you all supposed to sit in mourning for 7 weeks?
This isn't about being a stepparent, this is about your selfish and clueless DH.
That's exactly how I feel
That's exactly how I feel about it! He thinks that I am the selfish one! I told him that he sounded beyond pathetic and really jealous. Just because he wants to mope around and act like he desperately misses SD (who doesn't even give him a second thought when she's gone), doesn't mean that I have to feel that way. I NEVER will!
It's pretty yucky that he
It's pretty yucky that he misses her so much. Let the girl have her own life with the other side of her family.
Yes, it is yucky. It's
Yes, it is yucky. It's honestly so gross to me how one-sided their relationship is. She cringes when he grabs her to hug and kiss her. She doesn't bother to call him when she's away. She has told me that her grandmother says bad things about him and she laughs about it. She likes her space sometimes and he acts like she should always want to be around us. It's pitiful.
I am sure SD does fun things
I am sure SD does fun things when she is with you too- It is just more spread out.
Of course you want special moments when it is just you and your kids there!!
Yes! Thank you for
Yes! Thank you for understanding!
I hate to think....
I hate to think what she is going to be like as a teenager.
You and I both! All of the
You and I both! All of the signs point to her being someone that I will not be able to tolerate. I am already expecting my relationship to end at that point.
These men are such idiots.
These men are such idiots. What your SO should have said: "I'm so glad you're able to take advantage of this time alone with your kids to do some fun things. How about I treat you all to a day doing [insert interesting thing here] to show my appreciation for all you do for SD the other 45 weeks of the year?"
It would be amazing to hear
It would be amazing to hear him say that! I've done so much for him and SD in the last six years, and it would be so nice if he would just be happy for me. I might sound selfish, but I truly do deserve the little breaks that I get.
SD14
We are the fun house, and with a dual income we can do things that Toxic Troll BM cannot/does not do.
SO, that being said, sometimes SD14 indicates that she feels we do everything when she is gone to her mothers (thanks to nstagram). Down to the meals that we have. In the same breath she will relate how her mother only seems to buy meat when she is leaving for our house. We do eat really really well, and SD14 has related to me that she eats a lot of junkfod, ramen and mac/cheese when at the other place. I am a person who likes to do things like hiking. She opts out every time. Now with things being closes its not that we go places now, without her.
SO - by all means live your life WITH your kids not FOR your kids. Sounds like your DH has an unbalanced view of SD.
He definitely does have an
He definitely does have an unbalanced view of SD. He always has, and I'm sure that he always will.