Continuing the MIL saga, after MIL invited herself to join DH on his weekend away with SSs, DH took a moment to tell MIL how hurt he was that MIL insisted upon meddling with BM and how he feels like he can't trust her. He told her that he feels like she always just makes excuses and doesn't take responsiblity or apologize. This is the second time DH has told MIL how hurt he was. Instead of apologizing, MIL just told DH that he was being unreasonable and people make mistakes and he needs to move on. So, he leaves it at that and he and I both talk about how MIL will not likely change. How he's told her how he feels and still doesn't get support, so he's ready to accept that. 

So, building on that, DH and I had some good news to share with MIL and her reaction, while positive, was completely outsized. It involved extended tears and blubbering. I asked DH if he thought she had been drinking, because she was just way over the top, but it was in the middle of the day. 

A week later, DH goes to help MIL move some furniture. She had rented a pick-up truck from UHAUL. Upon arrival at UHAUL, DH says to her, "Mom, I won't be able to get the furniture into the pickup truck. It's too high. Could we switch to a box truck, which is the same price?" MIL starts getting teary and says, "I can never do anything right with you!" DH says, "Mom, I'm just telling you that it will be impossible for me to lift the furniture up over the tailgate, because it's too high." As they were driving back in the truck, DH pointed out to MIL that she is often critical of him and he doesn't understand why. MIL pushes DH again to go to counseling with her (she pushed for this when she got caught meddling). DH replies, "Mom, I don't think you are going to change and counseling will only work if we are both open to changing how we interact with one another." MIL replies, "me, change? I think the counselor would tell you how you need to change!" Oh, MIL, apparently you have never been to counseling. DH then says, "mom, this is the point where you say something hurtful to me and I react like an angry teenager and then you feel justified in how you feel about me." Again, I asked DH if he thought his mother had been drinking because her teary reaction to his suggestion that they rent a different truck is not a normal reaction. 

MIL has such a weird relationship with DH. She is constantly shaming him and setting him up for no-win situations with his children and BM through her meddling. She also acts like he's a total non-entity and uses him as her emotional outlet. He was the one who was expected to move back home and support her after FIL died (even though she was financially stable and BIL and SIL were both adults, so not sure why she needed his help) and he did that without complaint. He is always helping her, as opposed to BIL who promises the world, but is completely unreliable. Yet, BIL is the golden child for MIL, he can do no wrong. DH will never measure up and I will always be secondary to silent SIL. 

I'm honestly proud of DH for speaking up to MIL, but man it is exhausting dealing with a needy, childish, dysfunctional adult. MIL often asks DH why I don't call her on the phone, but really, why would I? She's lucky that I am willing to see her ever outside of major holidays. I was hoping that COVID-19 would keep her from coming back from her wintering in Florida for the entire year, but sadly, it did not.