Why does my DH believe my SD over me ALL THE TIME????
I caught my SD flat out lying to us. I knew that she was on Facebook and getting a lot of friends that were not approprite (she is 12). When my Brother and I were talking about Facebook and the people from highschool that we were finding she said " what is Facebook?, how does that work?" She has been on it since at least April and has over 200 friends. Anyways, my DH was sitting right there and when we were alone I asked him what he was going to do about my SD's lying. He did NOTHING. The next time I checked Facebook, I noticed she took her pic off the screen. Since my DH was doing nothing, I said nothing. A couple of weeks go by and I check again and she is back to her normal pic etc, figures I have 'moved on'. My DH gives my SD the CD of all our Wedding Pics, this is the good/bad/ugly shots etc. I was so hurt and upset, my SD is a mean, manulipulative girl. I feel soooo violated by the fact that her and my DH's ex, who has been really nasty lately have pics of me and my boys and my family. He doesn't see the problem because he believes his daughter is something she is clearly not. I feel like he violated our marriage and our relationship. When does it stop? When does my privacy become violated? She already walks off with my clothes, my makeup, my nail polish, my candles....and he doesn't see an issue because its little stuff. The fact that my children and I are not allowed to "touch" anything that belongs to her??????? I am so hurt and I feel used. I went on Facebook and sent her a friend request...I wanted to make sure she didn't post pics of me and the boys....and she shut down her entire account. I guess she was hiding a lot of stuff to go to that extreme?
Sadly, by tomorrow she will have some story to tell Daddy and he will believe her and tell me that I am just being mean to HIS Daughter.....
No matter what I do, I feel like I am losing...
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the bond
between parent and parent is primary. If you and your spouse cannot BE what you want for your children to be/have in their lives, there is little hope that they will be that.
It is your obligation - more his (with you as strictly step parent) to impart on his children a sense empathy, and an attitude of kindness. That said, no one is perfect. Forgive yourself for your childrens failures too. For they are individual. You do not make-up the totality of your children any more than you are the sum of your parentage. We don't have a rule book when we enter this world, and we rarely write one for those who follow.
Who wants the responsibility???
Dear Struggling SM
I feel your pain. We started down this road with SD11 recently with the internet access, lying has always been a problem. We(and I use that term loosely) have not solved this issue and it is for the same reasons that you are experiencing, I am the mean one (hence evil sm title). I found out about some of the internet sites and "friends" that SD was talking to and it scared me so I told DH and he responded, it was a very weak response but at least some action. The same day no lie, she was back to doing the exact same thing, the rule to the kids is that you do not talk to anyone on the internet that you have not met face to face. Sd completely disregarded what Dh told her. I told him again what was going on but he has basically ignored it, I have given in. I can't fight this fight every other week and why should I, it only causes problems between Dh and I. I am acting in the best interest of HIS child and he chooses to ignore me, fine, deal with it yourself I say. Don't fight a battle that you can't win, bottom line is that its not your child and untimatley (when it bites him in the a$$)he will see the error of his ways. About the "borrowing" of your things; I would put my foot down immediately! Seems that your SD has no respect for your belongings, I don't allow my own children to take them without my permission and neither would she. Nothing unfair or mean about that, just respect for someone elses things. Good luck SSM, I hope things improve.
~Evil
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius
I don't mean this to be
I don't mean this to be negative, but he sides with SD because he can. Don't put up with it. You should be number one on his team. You are the other ref.
If not, it is a losing battle.
Hope things get better for you.