Luckily, I've only been in this situation once since SD14 became my stepdaughter. A cashier at the movie theater said "your daughters look so much like you". I laughed and said, "thanks, but this one isn't biologically mine" and motioned toward SD. SD then said "my mom isn't here".

The woman looked a bit embarrassed but nonetheless, I wasn't claiming SD and was sorta offended that she'd even think that SD looked remotely like me. The ONLY thing we have in common is we're short. My DD (also 14 till next month) looks like my twin sister only much taller than me.

To people I'm close with and those here, I call her Stepdevil. Hopefully, I won't be seeing her anytime soon. She lives full time with her mommmmmmyyy and I am happy with that arrangement. DH would never say she's mine or expect me to take on that mommy role with her after all I've tried and done for the kid and gotten stabbed repeatedly in the back for it.

I refer to them by their names. FSD12 called me mom one time, and I corrected her. I told her that she has a mom. She told me she wished I was her mom... it was touching but I was not tempted. I would not want my bio daughter to call anyone else mom. She's an adult so that is not an issue.

When we are out and strangers make comments like your daughter sure looks like you, or your kids are so well behaved. I do not correct them, I smile and than them.

I introduce them by their names, with out the step, or FDH's kids or anything.

They call me Ms...... because my god children call me Ms..... I have told them to call me by my first name. Sometimes they do but habits are hard to change.

It really doesn't matter to me. Like you, I love them, and they know it. Security, love and acceptance is really all they want.

I intro DH's kid as DH's kid. I have no bios of my own, so it makes it easy. I disengaged a long time ago, I'm not her SM, she is her father's daughter.

We've had a few situations where strangers assumed we were mother and daughter (though she is a brunette and I'm a redhead, we are both short, curvy and have similar ethnicity). We just looked at each other and let the comments pass without correcting the person.

I hate to admit this but it depends on the situation. But most of the time I gut reflex and respond "I'm their STEPmother" because both kids complain about how batshit crazy their mother is and I don't want anyone thinking that's ME!!!!

Edit: SS has the attention span of a knat and calls everyone everything. He calls his Dad by Homewrecker's name on accident sometimes, sometimes he calls Homewrecker Dad. He calls me Mom sometimes on accident and my name others. He even calls my Bio by SD's first name, SD by my Bio's first name and our dog by his Mom's dog's name.

My SD always refers to me as her "Other Mother".

We both introduce all of the kids as "our kids". They introduce us as their "parents". Not that my kids are really old enough to introduce us yet. If they are speaking of us individually they use "step". For example, if someone asks SS who I am he says "my stepmom". If someone asks SS who WE are, meaning DH and I are standing together, he says "my parents".

I refer to them as my skids and they me their step mom. That is the reality and they know it and understand that. It's not a negative by any means. It's only negative if people make it out to be. My skids love me and I do them but we all know I'm not their mom and they have one.

Even last night ss17 was talking to me and dh about how mom's sometimes just need a brake and I told him that I didn't have an eow brake like his mom gets. And ss17 told me I handle it much better than his mom does. Lol

My point is they get it and know it's just life and that won't change so why make it a bad thing?

I would NEVER admit or allow anyone to think/assume skid is my biology...heck NO! My BS9 is a spitting image of me. Tall, skinny, dark hair and eyes and skid is average height, obese, wears glasses, etc. HELL NO am I claiming THAT!

He is and always will be BF's kid!!!

I have never really thought about it. My sKids are younger (ss5 and ss7). SS7 in the beginning was pretty good about correcting people but now that DH and I are married he seems to relax a little bit more, some times he will correct them with me being his step-mom. The youngest usually calls me by name but he has called me mom a few times (he was 3 when I came into his life so he doesn't remember BM and DH being together). I think he got confused for awhile when BM remarried and made the boys call her hubby 'dad' but after we got married this past fall I noticed that they are back to calling him by name. I have no preference - I am pro choice.

I usually refer to the sKids as 'The Boys' when talking about them and that is what my mom seem to call them. Like she will ask if we have The Boys this week or what are my plans for the boys. ect. Or I just call them by name.

DH and I are currently planning to get pregnant (or at least try to) this year and have put a lot of thought into the situation with the sKids. We don't want them to feel like they aren't important to both of us but at the same time they have a mom - in some ways it's like that have two moms and my future child will just have me. Even if their mom is a selfish idiot i don't want my kid to miss out on having a wonderful mom because the sKids need more attention (they are really clingy). And i also don't want my baby to call me by my name. SKids are going to have to realize with refereeing to baby I am MOM.

Of course as a SM there is a lot to a last name. This fall I took DH's last name which is the same as the boys. BM re-married so her last name is different. The dentist office called me the other day to confirm SS7's appointment. They called my cell and asked for me by name, I didn't pick up so they left a massage. I had DH call them to confirm the appointment. But he thought it was funny. I have also been mistaken for BM at the school a few times. In the parent teacher conference the Teacher looked right at me and asked me a question directed at BM. I just smiled and pointed to BM. She didn't look happy at all but DH and I had been doing most of the talking and BM was sitting so far away from us.

I do a lot for and with the boys and yes I do love them. But I don't care what they call me aside for some choice words of course.

I refer to the skids as just that and they introduce me as their SM or call me by my first name. If someone makes a comment as me being their BM, the skids are quick to correct the person and say "she's not my mom, she's my step mom".

I try to explain that not everyone knows the situation and that correcting them, they may feel embarrassed. They don't seem to care about anyones feelings.

mine refer to me as "Dad's wife" and I refer to them as "my husband's children!" Plain and simple and it will never change!!!

I don't think I have ever introduced SS to anyone. Try not to be seen with him in public.

The SK's don't refer to me as anything... honestly in the 8 years I've known them I have yet to hear them utter my name, let alone a pronoun in my direction. But I'm sure they've addressed me a blue million ways behind closed doors and under their breath

I do not go anywhere with the SK's that the DH isn't with me. So I leave introductions to him.

However, I've heard my DH introduce/speak of my kids as his stepson and stepdaughter.