Parental Alienation is ugly. We've been fighting it since 2004 & just spent our 2nd Sunday in a row with DH's kids. The last time we had them both was Christmas, & the last time before that was Father's Day, 2007...only by order of the judge.

We celebrated MIL's 72nd birthday Sunday. Much to our surprise, both SS & SD were eager & excited to come.

We met BM at 2pm to get the kids, stoped to get cards for the kids to give MIL, & had to be to dinner by 3pm. BM told DH he had to have them back by 5pm so that they could go swimming at her mom's friend's house.

We ate & made merry. Everyone had a good time & while it could've lasted several more hours, we had to cut it short to get them back to BM on time. As we headed to the meet point, SS texted BM to let her know we were on the way. She texted back said her & her bf were at Walmart...almost an hour away from where we were supposed to meet. She said we needed to make it 5:30pm.

The Walmart they went to was the opposite direction of where they had to come to get the kids. There are 2 Walmart's they have to come past just from BM's house to where we were meeting. WTF? When DH mentioned it, SD said, "I know. Mom loves to waste gas". DH's comment back was, "That's funny. Her reason for not being able to meet me halfway is always that she doesn't have enough gas". SD rolled her eyes & said, "I know. I don't know why she says that. She always has enough gas to go wherever she wants to go".

Fine. There's a pet store on the way, so we stopped to play with the puppies. We hung out for awhile & SD called BM to make sure she was going to be there at 5:30pm. They talked for about 10 minutes & SD came back, obviously irritated, & handed the phone to SS. DH asked if things were okay & SD said, "Well, they're still at Walmart & she said she isn't ready to leave yet". DH asked what time they wanted to meet & she just shrugged her shoulders & sighed a heavy sigh & told DH, "She just said we need to spend as long with you as we can".

SS was down an isle & around a corner & I could hear him getting pissy. He came back & said she told him 6:30 or 7pm...at DQ, about 25 minutes beyond where we'd planned on taking them. DH was irked about having to make the extra drive, on top of BM putting us off. He asked what was going on & SD said, "I don't know what her problem is. She seems mad. Everything makes her mad & now she just acts like she doesn't want to come get us".

Of course we were happy to have the extra time with them, but BM was the one who insisted they be back at 5pm to go swimming. If we'd known we'd have them for another 2 hours, we wouldn't have left the party early to get them back. We left the house at 7am that morning to get some things done at MIL's house...cutting grass, weeding flowerbeds, etc & we had dogs waiting at home for us to let them out. Meeting her at 7pm means us getting home around 9pm. That's 14 hours the dogs would be left there unable to go out to pee.

We sat around the pet store a little long...till it was clear everyone had had enough. I told DH, "Let's just meet her at DQ. We can just go ahead & go & have ice cream while we wait. That way we'll be there whenever she decides to show".

We were about 3 minutes from pulling in & BM texted SS to tell him they were there waiting. It was 5:50pm. She said 6:30 or 7pm & they were there, inside sitting at a table eating at 10 til 6pm. Whatever.

DH told the kids if they wanted we could still get ice cream, or if they'd rather, he'd give them money to get something & they could be on their way. The kids wanted us to stay & have ice cream with them. We sat at the other end of the place & had our ice cream.

At one point SD & DH were talking. SD glanced up & started giggling. DH asked her what was funny & just then BM came around the table & stood behind the kids.

She.looked.NASTY.

She was wearing a little dress with triangle cups made to hold nothing more than a "B". She'd mashed her over-tanned wrinkled boob-sag into the tiny cups. The dress has an ampire waist & comes about 1/2 way down her thigh.

She said something to SD about looking at the ice cream cakes while they were there for her birthday. SD looked irritated & said, "Mom, my birthday is over a month away. We can look at the DQ by our house when it gets closer". BM said, "Well I just thought maybe you'd want to look at what they have". SD just said, "No". We were all looking at her wondering why she felt she needed to come to our table to address that right then, & I'm pretty sure we were all wondering what the fuck she was thinking when she left the house in that dress.

I guess when she did her walk of shame she just kept going out the door. They went & sat in the car.

DH asked SD what was funny...why she laughed & SD embarrassingly whispered, "Dad, she's wearing my dress!". SD said she got it to wear over leggings, but never wore it because the top was cut too low. LOL!

We hung out for another 1/2 hour & DH finally said, "I guess we should let you guys get home. Are you ready to go?" SD said, "I think we should wait. Mom's in the car giving bf an earful. She always yells at him she's mad because he won't yell back at her".

All-in-all it was a good day for us. It was eye-opening. It was nice to hear SD voice honest feelings & thoughts without hesitation. SS still hold back. He's still functioning under the conditioning that BM raised him with. He's still watchful & while not so actively protecting her...is still wary of divulging anything that paint her in bad light. He didn't deny any of what SD said, but didn't really offer any thoughts of his own.

It was nice to know see the kids recognize the peace between DH & I by pointing out the lack of peace between BM & her bf, & I was thrilled to have them prefer to spend more time with us when they could've just as easily left.

I feel like progress is coming little-by-little. SD shows more independence, which surprised me. She's the one I was certain would never pull away from BM enough to find herself.