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why should I make him feel like he counts when he just craps on me?

sterlingsilver's picture

Submitted by sterlingsilver on Tue, 08/14/2012 - 11:58pm

SS15 is so rude to me and then still expects me to include him in my "affections" like I do with my own children. The other day he said to dh, how come her boys count to her but not me?" I have been trying to disengage gracefully but he drives me nuts so then I blow it by snapping at him. Tonight I got home late with my one meal of groceries and he jumps up to see what I bought. I said "I don't need any help making supper (in other words get out of the kitchen) and he slammed down his remote and went to bed. After me and my boys ate he came down and scarfed the rest of the dinner leaving nothing for DH. He didn't take his plate into the sink NOR did he thank me for dinner like my boys always do. "No wonder it feels like you don't count ss15, you are so ungrateful and treat me like a peace of crap".

I just wish I had better tools to dealing with teen boys that are not my own. Any suggestions on how to make this kid feel like he's mine without it making me have to extend my arm further and my bank book open wider for this ungrateful brat???

Comments

Gabriels Mom's picture

Submitted by Gabriels Mom on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 6:31am

I wouldn't do anything for him. You shouldn't be making dinner for him either. That's his dad's job. What does your DH say about his behavior?

ImpishTendencies's picture

Submitted by ImpishTendencies on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:17am

He won't appreciate a damned thing until you no longer do anything for him. It's called there are consequences to your actions.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 7:31am

I would answer his question and tell him why. Let him know he has bad manners and if that changes, your attitude towards him might change also but it has to be earned.

sterlingsilver's picture

Submitted by sterlingsilver on Wed, 08/15/2012 - 8:40am

Yes, that's what I need to do is explain that not only are my boys MINE, but they also treat me with respect. When I ask them to do something they do it, they say thanks for meals, when I talk to them they talk back instead of just saying "whatever". My Dh doesn't see anything wrong in ss's behavior but he sees ALL the wrong in my boys. It's all just classic blended family crap and I know this but it still irks me.