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Lazy ungrateful "angels" and summer is too long :( *long vent* sorry

sterlingsilver's picture

Sometimes I just want to bang my head against the wall. Why is it that our DH'S (or DW'S) kids are never in the wrong. Why do DH's always defend their brats even when it's OBVIOUS they are NOT angels?DH is always telling me my kids leave dishes in their rooms, never do chores, should get jobs, eat dinner more often with us versus up in their rooms, etc. Well hello, ss15 eats in his room and always has stacks of dishes in there, never helps with chores willingly, practically lives in his room, never cleans that room and it REAKS, and then after breaking his 4th phone (I bought them all) expects to borrow everyone elses b/c he doesn't want to spend his own money on buying his own. I don't know, I am just tired of kids hangin around all summer with nothing more to do then complain about the meals I cook (ss15 is the pickiest eater) and do nothing to help out when DH and I go to work every day. DH is always telling me to get my boys to do this and that, but his kid is "in sports" so he's an exception to the rule and also broke his shoulder so he needs to rest all summer so he's ready for football next month. ARG. Just pisses me off on certain days.
What the hardest for me is that I get home after 7pm and when I walk in the door the dogs are bored and hyper, the dishes are all still in the sink, the floors are filthy from the dogs mostly, and then I still have to cook. Last night I got home later then usual and just lost it b/c I had asked the boys to do a few things and my boys had done their chores but not ss15. I proceeded to yell at DH and then decided not to cook dinner but then was hungry and dh offered to help. We fried hamburgers and then the boys all come galloping down the stairs and start to complain b/c this or that wasn't how they liked it. Finally ss15 comes down with a heap of dishes about 3 feet high of bowls and plates and cups and gosh that's where all the spoons went. I told him to rince them and put them into the dishwasher and DH says no just let them soak and then looks at me and says well at least he brought them down and then looks up at my sons room and rolls his eyes. I promply went up and only found one cup. I said there were not enough dishes left for my boys to hoard b/c ss15 had them all and how hard is it for him to just rince and stack them into the dishwasher. So I said oh ss15 just let them soak b/c we don't want to overdo it on your shoulder. I was so pissed I just left the supper clean up and went to bed. Also from now on, rain or shine the dogs are locked outside while I am at work. There is plenty of covered porch for them and 7 hours a day during the summer especially is not going to hurt them. DH says oh but the baby shitzu can't be outside, he's da baby. Uhm, then get a frickin dog sitter since your brat son who we got the dog for can't take care of him.
I'm just sick of my home being taken over by alien dogs and skids. I would love it to just be a clean home with no smells. Dh's boys reak and his shitzu reaks. BLABLABLA.

Comments

Last-Wife's picture

Relax. Deep breath.

A few suggestions from my life:

1. use paper plates and cheapie plastic cups. Seriously, hidden away in my room are glass plates and bowls and drinking glasses for when I need something "sturdy," but otherwise left over McDs cups work just fine. Plus, that way, when SSs leave them sitting long enough that mold has grown up the side of the cup, I can just throw it away.

2. Kids' basket. I keep an empty laundry basket in the kitchen. If kids' haven't washed up their own dishes or picked up food trash, like popsicle wrappers, I just drop it in the basket. If it gets full, or stinks, or they can't find what they want, they either get the hint, and take care of it, or DH steps in and makes them do it.

3. Dogs. Skids dog? His responsibility. If not, find a better home for the dog where it will be loved and taken care of.

4. Long day at work and you know you'll come home to a shit mess? Stop and have a nice, quiet dinner all by yourself. Even if it's just McDonald's and a magazine to read, sitting in your car at a nearby park. It was quiet and you had peace. And an easy mess to clean up!

And in my life, I remember each day to thank my bio-son for all he does around the house to help me! Sometimes I feel like he's the male Cinderella, doing everything his step siblings don't!

sterlingsilver's picture

Thats how my bio almost 17 yr old is. He'll pop potatoes into the oven to bake an hour before I get home, mow, weedwhack, take dogs for a walk (on his bike!) and when I get home he usually asks what needs to get done. But he's getting burned out too. He even cleaned the whole garage one day only to have it get messy again, and non of the stuff in there is ours, it's all dh's and ss18's crap.

Ok I'll breathe! Stopping for supper alone sounds like something I might do about once a week and then tell the boys it's ramen for supper! Sounds devine!

Last month I did clean ss15's room b/c his grandma was coming over and I filled TWO large black garbage bags of 2 ltr bottles, cup o noodle cups etc, all trash; a lot of mold. pethetic and GROSS.