A crush turning seriously wrong
This is not a new issue with ss15 by any means but it's gotten to the point of being out of control. ss15 has been sneaking out at night to meet in the woods with his gf who is 19, 4 years older then him. Last night his sister, my sd26 was sleeping on the couch b/c she is here for ss18's graduation, ans she heard ss15, her baby brother leave out the back door. She was appalled and went after him. He just shrugged her off and kept walking. She was so furious and told SO this morning about it. She knew this has been an ongoing issue.
I piped up this morning to SO and said he better buy ss15 condoms or ss15 might be paying child support at a very young age and if he is still underage the parents of this 19 yr old might take him (SO) to court to pay child support for ss15. Not sure that's true b/c actually it's her that should be taken to court for, ya know. This has gotten so out of hand lately and SO really truly doesn't know what to do short of us moving. The parents of this girl are doing nothing to stop her, or so it seems. They believe she is old enough to make her own decisions.
I need a little imput in on what SO and I can do about this. We have put door alarms in, pad locked the gate, put a bolt in the front door but ss15 still escapes over the fence out of his window, etc. No matter what anyone says to this kid he just says, ya, ya and does what he wants. He has really pushed this whole family away and is NEVER part of us anymore, is over there all the time now (literally) and refuses to even come down for meals, he waits until everyone is in bed and then eats and runs. I have seen him maybe all of 30 minutes in the past 30 days. He told me once he is going to be so bad for his dad so that his dad kicks him out and then he'll move in with his gf's family b/c they're more like family. He said he hates his dad and his siblings and doesn't think of them as his family anymore. This is breaking SO's heart. It really is like this boy was suddenly taken over by another spirit, when he looks at you his eyes are dead and no emotion.
Thanks for any input. We are worried too b/c he is ruining his future career in football. The kid has been playing since preschool and is good but now he's all about this girl and not going to spring practices after school but going over to her house instead. It's a mess.
Thanks
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Her parents are right she's a
Her parents are right she's a legal adult and they really can't do anything, however she could also be charged as a sexual predator because he's 15 how many teachers have been going to jail for the same thing. Her parents might want to be informed of that as a possible deterrent. Let ss know she can be sent to jail, charged and have to register as a sexual offender. My dd's bf is 19 she's 16 we've used this legal aspect to make sure they stick to our rules regarding dates requiring a chaperone (adult family member) Next time he sneaks out call the cops they will make things very uncomfortable but will likely wait to see if the parent is willing to press charges unless they catch them in the act. Then there is breaking curfew if your area has one and yes if he is 15 and gets a girl pregnant the state can make the child's parent pay cs for them depending again on the state.
SD-then-15 was sneaking a
SD-then-15 was sneaking a 20-yr-old into BM's house.
That wouldn't be happening at our house - we have all of the windows and doors alarmed, and she does NOT and WILL not know the code. She has her own code that we can revoke at any time. If it came to it, we would.
As it stands, she hangs out with us and not other teenagers - but that's because she's not here full time, doesn't work (except for me), and appears to want to just CHILL OUT.
I don't know what to tell you - SD16's boyfriend was charged by the state when she went to the hospital for threatening self-harm. If the cops know his GF is that old, depending on the state, they WILL charge her whether he wants them to or not.
Sometimes kids have to
Sometimes kids have to experience the pain of their failures before they can be motivated to have some success.
Honestly, it sounds as though you are doing everything you can to try to keep this kid on the right path. What you can't do is change this kids mind about what it is that he wants to do. He is damn dead set on this path. The "Power of Dad" clearly doesn't stack up to the "Power of the P*ssy." Sorry to be vulgar, but I'm sure you can recognize the truth in that statement.
From the outsider looking in, I would say just keep doing what you are doing. Maybe one day this kid will be able to look back and see how much the two of you tried to do to help him make better choices. If not, at least the two of you will know -- without a doubt -- that you did absolutely everything you could.
Another option would be to look into emancipating him. I suppose that would depend, really, what the consequences would be to the two of you for the choices he's making and whether you two are willing to pay those consequences. (For example: the two of you having to pay CS if he knocks up that girl or he's doing illegal things and you two could be held liable for it).
Sorry he's being that way. It's pretty normal for his age. Just pray he will come to his senses without having totally destroyed his own life (gotten some chick preggers and has to deal with a lunatic BM for the rest of his life, an incurable STD, drug addiction, jail, etc.)
Doesn't sound like you have a whole lot of options.
(((HUG))))