Yesterday I picked up SS3 from day care and Julie (daycare provider) asked me how SS is for us when he wakes up from naps -- he takes a good half hour to get out of his 'funk'. We talked about that for a bit, and Julie said that they've been working on putting "away" Whiney Boy after naps Then she also said they've been working on the whole 'situation' of when BM drops him off in the mornings.

I said in shock, "Is he whiney when BM drops him off?"
Julie said, "NOOOOOooo, not at all! He plays around, and hides behind her legs, and pretends he doesn't know how to take off his coat and shoes, and BM doesn't do anything about it." Later, I told DF about this conversation and he said that BM told him that Julie "yelled" at her last week for that. BM's excuse was, "Oh, like it's the end of the world if my poor little son doesn't want his mommy to leave him!" (Uhhhh, he obviously doesn't care, he just wants to play! He NEVER does this when either me or DF drop him off.)

Fast-forward to about 7:30pm when BM was picking up the skids last night. BM and SD5 are standing in the entryway. SD already has her shoes and coat on. I look and realize that I can't see SS, so I look over the staircase and see that he's playing around on the stairs, no shoes, no coat on yet. I say somewhat sternly, "SS, get upstairs and get ready to go. Everyone's waiting."

He slowly walks up the stairs with a devilish smile on his face, looking at BM...then starts going back DOWN the stairs, still looking at her. I say in a more stern voice, "SS, NOW."

So he comes up the stairs. Then he flops down on his knees in front of BM. I say, "SS, go get your shoes." BM grabs them for him. I say, "SS, put your shoes on." BM grabs his foot to start putting his shoe on. (Apparently BM thinks her name is SS's name?)

Finally I grow sick of seeing BM doing it all and SS playing flop-master, that I say to SS, "Why don't you show Mommy how you're a BIG BOY when you're at our house? You ALWAYS get dressed all by yourself!?"

Meanwhile, BM keeps getting him dressed while he pretends to be lethargic, and just smiles at me and then BM the whole time. She finally responds, "Well he knows that I'll just do it for him so that's why he doesn't do anything." She laughs awkwardly and keeps working on his shoe (of course it is taking forever because he's not cooperating).

So I'm almost ready to give up, but then I say, "What happens when you're a big brother, SS? Didn't you tell me that you were going to teach your little brother how to put his socks on, and his shoes on? You need to practice what it means to be a BIG BOY!"

FINALLY, BM starts in..."yeah Son, what are you going to do when you're a big brother?..."

So BM apparently 'gets it' but refuses to teach her kid any responsibility and just folds to his every wish. And SS completely has her wrapped around his little finger.

I was soooo disappointed in SS, because it makes me so sad to know that he's like that all the time at her house. No wonder we've had such an ongoing battle of trying to get him to get dressed on his own, brush his teeth, etc! BM is going to have such a hard time raising this kid if he can manipulate her like this at the age of 3!