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FDH wants to know what "rights" he has....I think none....he says 'it can't be!" What is your experience?

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:43am

Not to blog hog but I need some more info. FDH fought for joint custody but in our state it is VERY rarely awarded. They want one person to have primary custody. However, their visitation was ALMOST 50/50, so it's called "extended visitation".

FDH texted me this morning and said, "Can you do some research for me on what the benefits are for us having extended visitation?" I said, "Uh...none!" He said, "Like legally? I always feel like BM is running the show...does she really truly have all that power?"

I told him that her lawyer was good. He protected her. He made sure that it was not joint custody, that you only got "extended visitation"....exactly for that reason. So that in the future she could have the power to determine naything and everything! I said the ONLY thing that would change that is to have her deemed UNFIT to be primary custodial parent.

He doesn't believe me.

Experience, please? Do we have any legal rights really?

Comments

Oi Vey's picture

Submitted by Oi Vey on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 10:47am

"We" don't have any legal rights. Sadly.
"He" may. Who has decision making rights? Joint or just her? (Not that it really matters when push comes to shove.)

Basically, whoever holds "primary custody" holds the cards. Sad

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:06am

SHE has primary custody. He has extended visitation, even though they just mutually agreed to do EOW so now it's actually 50/50.

They do have joint LEGAL.

Oi Vey's picture

Submitted by Oi Vey on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:12am

yeah, nothing special.
My DH had "joint legal" and it meant basically nothing.
I have "sole" and I share more info with my ex.

Sorry.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Mon, 08/08/2011 - 11:01am

If you're in NYS they give primary "residential" custody invariable to the BM, which makes her "custodial parent" and biodad "non custodial parent."

As with everything in NYS, they do a "symobolism over substance thing" by granting NCP biodad "joint legal custody" which is SUPPOSED to entitle him to consulation on any matters pertaining to the children, including but not limited to medical, dental, scholastic, etc.

Of course joint legal custody is laughed at by most CP PASinator BMs and is flaunted for the paper tiger that it is.

RARELY if ever does the NYS PASinator CP BM consult daddykins on anything other than to hand him a bill after the fact. This on top of massive CS that NCP biodad usually gets stuck with.