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BM caught in her lies today...this time emcompassing EVERYONE in her child's life.

SteppingUp's picture

BM's been lying to us, to our daycare provider, and to her daughter's bio dad.

About a year ago, when SD5 (not fiance's actual daughter) and SS3 first started going to this new daycare, I remember DF remarking that BM put his name as SD's biological father. He kind of shrugged it off. About a month or two ago, after some strange comments from other daycare parents, I told DF that I don't think daycare knows that SD has a "real" dad and it's not you! He shrugged it off again, saying that he was sure they knew.

And here begin the lies...which have been going on for over a year in some cases and especially over the last month since SD started going to her real dad's house on weekends instead of to ours.

Lie #1: That SD's bioDad can't pick her up at day care because he doesn't get off of work early enough to get there by 5:30.
Proven Lie: My DF goes to pick up his son at daycare, and has also been picking up SD, bringing her to BM's house, so that SD can be picked up there by her bioDad -- all this running around because BM said that BioDad couldn't get to daycare on time. BUT, BioDad is always at BM's WAITING for SD to get there (via fiance) and seems pretty obvious he's been waiting for awhile...he has plenty of time to get to daycare to pick her up.

Lie #2: Today, DF asked BM why BioDad can't just get her if he obviously has time to make it there since he's always waiting. BM's lie was that BioDad REFUSES to pick up SD from daycare because he's never been there and doesn't know how to get there. (which pissed us off because he needs to just grow a pair and find out!)
Proven Lie (Self-admitted by BM): Tonight I am picking up SS3 from day care, and DF called BM to tell her that she'll have to figure out something because he's not going to have me running all over town (like HE always does) just to pick up SD and bring her somewhere else, to meet someone who'll bring her somewhere else! BM calls him later and says that bioDad "refuses to pick SD up at daycare because he's never been there." DF tells her that bioDad better stop acting like a child and start acting like a parent! Later, BM calls him again and says that "Actually...Daycare doesn't know that SD has a different dad than you...so I don't really want her to know, so I'll just pick her up."

Lie #3 (already covered): BM has never told Daycare that her daughter has a bio dad. This is ridiculous because I'm sure daycare has figured it out when SD refers to spending the weekend with "Daddy BioDad" that it is NOT my fiance...she's a smart woman. And that SD goes with her "other" grandma that is not her brother's grandma...Does BM really think that daycare wouldn't figure it out? And then wonder why she listed DF as the biological father?

Who knows what lies BM has been feeding to SD's bioDad!

I've had it with BM's idiocy....and BM still doesn't want to explain the situation with her daughter's real father to daycare. When I pick up SS3 tonight I'm going to explain the situation to daycare so that SOMEONE is being an adult here!!

Comments

iwishyouwould's picture

Ive been reading your blogs for awhile and you are in a mess woman! lol. SD is only five - I think your DH needs to talk directly with SD's biodad and tell him what is going on, that is if he does not want to continue the charade, of course. I completely understand him doing all that for her when biodad was not in the picture, but at age five with biodad in the picture I have ceased to understand the extent to which he is involved.

SteppingUp's picture

Thank you for some input...the only one Smile

I have an update to this so I might actually repost it for some more advice.

I am with you on the fact that since SD does have a father in the picture, it seems less and less necessary for my DF to be involved....but the other thing is that DF (and his parents) doesn't want to give up his time with her either, so then I kind of look like the evil monster.

DaizyDuke's picture

guarantee Bm does not want daycare to know because she is afraid this will make her look like the skank that she is... she has two children within 2 years of each other with 2 different men? She's also lying and teaching her daughter to lie. I agree with I wishuwould that it's time for bio dad and your Dh to have a conversation and I think he needs to cut his catering to BM and Bio dad for a child that is not his way the heck back!