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Anyone else battling over what to buy the steps?

stepmomsoon's picture

Submitted by stepmomsoon on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 1:33pm

Dh and I went shopping allllllll weekend.. got the skids mainly clothes because well, that's what they need and with BM bailing out on her share of the financials, that's all we can pretty much afford.

Plus, sk12 WANTS (err.. excuse me - demands) and PS4.. at 400, there is no way we can get this and still be able to.. uh, eat and pay bills. The skids have a PS3, which a friend of mine if repairing for them, but they won't be getting it back from him until the 26th...

Sooooo... DH has slipped into "guilty daddy" mode.. and is now like "oh, clothes are not exciting and I want them excited on Christmas morning"... yea, I get that - to a degree. He is going back and forth now on what to do.. one minute he says he's going to just get them a game to play on the ps3 - BUT then he gets all sad for them and says "but they can't play it until the 26th when they get the ps3 back".. then he goes and says something ignorant like "I'm just going to get them the ps4"

Wait a minute! First of all, months ago we talked about the PS4 and decided we can't afford it - especially when the ps3 works (not at this very nanosecond, but it's going to) just fine. Second of all.. uhmmm... sk12 really (and I mean really) isn't deserving of this (and he is the one bitching for it)..

These kids are so entitled.. we have explained to them that things are tight.. and that this Christmas is going to be slim compared to the past ones.. I mean, my daughter wants her own ipad (something both skids have) but you don't see me going out and dropping 400 bucks on one..

So now we are fighting.. because the steps have morphed dh into guilty daddy by complaining about their moms gifts to him.. sounding oh so sad that they got clothes and a few other things... So DH is starting to go Disney on me.. and I am left trying to be the voice of reason and hold my ground..

I don't get why he can't just say to them "hey guys, I know you wanted the ps4, but it's not in the budget right now.. so we got games for the current ps3 and will have to make due with that for now. If you want to save up 1/2 of the costs for the new one, I will put the rest towards it after the first of the year"... I mean, they are 12 & 14 - we went on a nice vacation this year and have done many fun and exciting things but this fall we had some unforeseen expenses that hit us hard and now we are trying to rebuild..

Can't they just appreciate and be happy?

Anyone else battling like this?

Comments

stepmomsoon's picture

Submitted by stepmomsoon on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 1:47pm

They can't shoot things and kill them on the ipad.. or talk to their buddies online while they do it...

Personally, I hate both devices because all they do is roam from one to the other playing games 24/7 on them.. and they fight over playtime on the ps3 several times a damn day. They are literally obsessed with these things.

My daughter has a brain... and gets that things are tight (she's the youngest and was raised right)... I told her we can't afford it right now, but when we can, I'll help her buy one. She is getting other toys to play with though - since she's 11 and not electronically obsessed.

I'm against the ps4 and told DH I don't approve of the purchase what so ever.. but he's gonna do what he's gonna do.. so, if he does get it - well, I will be sure to go out and buy my daughter something of equal value. I know games like this are wrong, but you get what you give and sometimes the only way to teach them a lesson is the hard way.

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 1:44pm

Is there anything else that you can get the kids that's "fun" but not expensive?

Are there any other hobbies the kids do that you could get for them?

For example, my D15 has been doing a lot of drawing lately, so I got her a sketch pad and a couple of pencil sets.

I sew and my D8 has been collecting my scraps of fabric and using my needle making little things. So I got her a sewing kit from Micheal's. The sketch pad and pencils were about $35 and the sewing kit for my D8 was $10.

Can you talk to your DH and compromise with him? Ask him to think of one "fun" gift you guys could get the kids that isn't too expensive. That way his "guilt" is absolved without you guys having to break the bank!

stepmomsoon's picture

Submitted by stepmomsoon on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 1:51pm

I already tried this.. and no there isn't anything these kids like other than electronics.. zero interests other than ipads and ps4's..

We can get them a game for the existing ps3, but they won't be able to play it until the 26th when my friend gets us back the unit.

So he is guilty daddy over them having to wait a while... like 24 hours. they are 12 & 15.. come on! I could see this being one of those instances where they don't understand - with a 4 year old!! But they are old enough to get it..

stepmomsoon's picture

Submitted by stepmomsoon on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 1:55pm

For him to have the nerve (sk12) to tell DH he wants this as his gift floored me.. My daughter didn't come right out and say she wanted an ipad - we were chatting and she asked about how much they cost and when I told her she was like "oh forget that"... she knows we aren't loaded and accepts things as they are.

Yes, the steps are truly the worst and they piss me off constantly with this shit!

whatwasithinkin's picture

Submitted by whatwasithinkin on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 1:50pm

sounds like it is your DH who is not happy. Your sk havent even opened their gifts. He assumes the worst. I believe in telling kids sorry couldnt afford it. it makes them realize they dont always get what they want

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Mon, 12/23/2013 - 1:57pm

I am really curious if the skids are going to like the gifts that I picked out for them, but DH paid for. I am sure they are expecting their usual Visa GC. They might be dissapointed when they see it's PJs. }:) They also got slippers. Bath and Body Works spray and lotion and a food place gift card.

Since DH now has 2 GBs he wants to buy for and 3/4 skids are grown ups (even though MSD is still in HS but has a baby) he needs to cut back on his spending IMO. What happens when there are even more GBs? More SOs to buy for? On top of the gifts for skids and GBs, there are 2 SOs.

Oh and since he is guilty daddy because I wont let the skids come over for Xmas Eve/Day (Long story) he is going to take them out to eat and to a movie on Xmas Eve. That's another $150 easy. (3 skids plus 1 SO).

And these kids only come around when they want or need something.

MSD called asking for DH to co-sign on a $6000 car for her. Um noooo.... He hasn't heard from her since.