My 16-year old step-son has become a pathological liar. He's had a very rough upbringing in his mom's house. The custody used to be 50/50. She met & married a man that hates him. They've never gotten along--not sure why she stayed with him. Years later into the beginning of his teenage years, she eventually kicked him out telling him "it was for his own good since he doesnt get along with his step-dad". She has always sided with the husband, never defended her child. So ever since she kicked him out about 2 years ago, he's been living at our house full time and only sees her every over weekend. She's very manipulative and I feel "brain washes" him at times. She too is a pathological liar..lies whenever it'll make her the good guy in her son's eyes. She is now getting a divorce from the loser she married. So now she wants her son back to the 50/50 custody, as well as I feel now she's trying to make up for what she's done wrong. I say this because he's failing classes at school. He doesn't do and/or turn in his homework and classwork. He has been punished in our house by no longer being part of the football team, losing all his "fun" priviledges such as music, Ipod, video games, etc. He's lost each item one by one. He earns them back by getting better grades. However, he continues to not do well in school. And he constantly lies about his work--saying he did it and turned it in. Come to find out that every time is a lie, he just continues to lie about his previous lies. He lies all the time and EVERYTHING lately. Not just his school work, but about the little things around the house too. He also has become very good at playing his mother & father against one another--telling lies about what the other supposedly said. Most recently has been the ultimate betrayal. He was told he was not allowed to go to Friday's football game because he was still missing assignments from several classes from last month that he insisted he did (which he did not). His mother was also told about this and agreed he wasn't allowed to go. Well, this past Friday, she picked him up for her weekend, and low and behold, I found out allowed him to go to the football game. They concocted this plan all week long. They were both reminded Friday afternoon that he not to go, yet she allowed it anyway. ONce again, playing her good guy card so he'd continue to be mad at us and not her. The worst part of it all is that he has absolutely no remorse about lying to us ALL the time. He never once apologizes and never once feels bad for making us feel like sh-t. I hate lying with a passion. I don't understand why he holds her on the highest pedastal when she's done nothing but treat him like sh-t for SO many years!! But I guess that goes back to lies to---she's lied to him for all this time making so many excuses why she's done all the things she's done. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stand the betrayal and deception. I dont believe a word that comes out of the child's mouth--which is sad, because he hasn't always been like this. I know alot of his issues are psychological stemming back to her, but what do I about this lying? My husband doesn't know what to do either. And it's literally tearing apart our marriage now. We've tried consueling, but he lies there too and nothing gets accomplished.
I've just had a really bad weekend and needed to vent. I'm SO angry everytime I look at him now because of all the lies. I feel so betrayed--like why would he treat us this way when we've done nothing but everything for him??!!