I'M SO glad I found this site. I thought I was the only one in this situation. I have been married to DH for almost 5 years. SD was 5 when we married. She is 10 now. The BM is a real nut job. I have 3 adult children. My DH had a late in life baby. So he is much older than I am but he has this 10 year old that he cant handle at the age of 50. Her behavior is so bad and embarrassing. I have noticed a pattern of him taking on extra work when it is his weekend to have her. So that means I am stuck with the little terror. She sneaks into the kitchen at night and eats candy and pop sickles. She leaves the wrappers in her bed and under her pillow. She constantly eats and begs for food. She has no manners. When we go out to eat as a family, I often wish I could crawl under the table. She has food all over her face. She sits like a man. She wrapped up left over french fries in a napkin, stuck them in her pocket and said she would eat them on the way home,for a snack.
When she was younger we had a much better relationship. We got along really well. She stopped coming over for awhile. The BM hates me and constantly talks about adult business in SD presence, therefore now that she is older, SD hates me too. I was told by a mutual family member that SD said she has a plan to get rid of me. That is very scary, so now, I keep my distance. I make sure she is fed and I put clean towels out for her to bathe , but no extra interaction. Besides the fact that she is so rude to me, I just cant take it. so I withdraw. I hide away in my bedroom. I look forward to Sunday evening at 6pm. I always think, OK , two weeks of peace.
I could go on and on about the awful things she has said and done to me over the years, despite my trying to bond with her, take her to do fun things and care for her when she is sick. I like to sew, so I make her Halloween costumes when we have her for Halloween. She enjoys the compliments she gets but no thank you. I love to cook great meals for my family. She says my food is horrible as she continues to put fork to mouth. She brings pictures of her mom and my husband and lays them out on my table and then looks at me to see my reaction. I told her thats a beautiful picture of your mother. Not the reaction she wanted. She constantly talks about the past because the BM is still living in the past. I wish they would move away.