My situation ( love my husband but kids Ahhhhhhhh!)
So I have been withy husband for going on four years and we recently just got married in June. We have a three year old daughter together and then my husband has a daughter and step son from a previous marriage. We rarely get to see the kids probably once a year for about 4 weeks due to my husband and his ex wife's current husband both being in the military. His step son is great there are never any problems with him but his daughter oh my gosh drives me up the wall to the point where I have actually contemplated flying home to visit my family when they are here. Whenever they come to visit us they are always sick and we never find out until they get here because their mom andy husband have a horrible relationship she is very petty and never fills us in on anything going on with the kids. I get that the being school age 7 & almost 9 they are going to be exposed to a number of germs that my daughter will not. However when it comes tim to get them with out fail every single time over the last 4 years they are ALWAYS sick and it pisses me off to no end because my daughter was 3 months premature so if they even sneeze she will end up with bronchitis or worse. I am so over this crap and the serious disrespect I get from my SD and of course my husband pulls her aside and tells her it's not okay to treat me this way and she apologizes but then ten minutes later she's right back at it. I feel awful but everything about this child annoys me, she complains about everything, when asked to change her underwear, brush her hair, take medicine, clean up her toys, anything it is a complete meltdown I mean screaming at the top of her lungs crying uncontrollably, saying she can't breathe it's ridiculous and of course my daughter then copies her and it's horrible becausey daughter does not pull that crap! I am just at my wit's end and I have no idea what else to do I love my husband to death but oh my gosh his daughter is just way too much even talking about the kids coming to visit I start to get anxiety and get stressed out and my whole mood changes. The entire time that they are here I am absolutely miserable and feel so uncomfortable in my own home. Please help any and all advice or personal experiences are welcome I'll take all the help I can get!
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Welcome StepmomDestress
I like your screen name - its very clever BTW.
Firstly, I commiserate with you. I am assuming the SD is 9? And you only see her 4 weeks out of the year? Tpically, with our schedule which is 50/50, 5 days on/off, it takes a few hours if not a day for Munchkin SD12 to "decompress". Go from one atmospheric pressure to the next. I try to give SO at least 20-30 minutes. So what my point is that 4 weeks after nothing is a huge atmospheric change. All at once. Its too bad that there isnt more time, but at this point it sounds like SD is major league acting out her distress. Nice kids dont do that. Now, I hate to say this, BUT, with so much influence from the biomother, as far as parenting, and shes got the DNA as well, she doesnt have a large amount of influence from the father, so that is where she will be patterning her self. If mother is mean, nasty, petty, rude, and disrespectful (read my blogs, I have this too) then she is learning how to be that way.
Short response - its too late and you have too little influence, you cannot win, you must take care of your precious baby - leave whiel she is there. If you cannot leave to family, then make certain there are play dates and activities set up ahead. Baby needs a happy momma, you need to be a happy momma, that is the number 1 thing.
You are so lucky! Only four
You are so lucky! Only four weeks a year with skids! I understand your frustration though! Still, I wish I had it as good as you. Just spent a miserable two days with skids and there’s more to come since we have them almost every day in the summer.