My mother's necklace only has DD17's birthstone. I wear it, not DH.

I also have 5 step children. 1 of whom I have no relationship with and 1 of whom I have a civil but distant relationship with. I have 3 children of my own. I would not include my stepchildren in that kind of jewellery. That is a special celebration of your bond with your children and unless you have a close bond with all your stepchildren it would probably feel as uncomfortable for them as it would for you to include them in that way. There are lots of other smaller ways you can express an affectionate bond with the 3 stepchildren that you do get on with. If you have adopted your nephew and are raising him as your own then i would include him. Enjoy your ring and don't feel guilty that this is something you want to reserve for the children who you feel are yours.

This sorta came up in passing once between my husband and me. He didn't come out and say it, but I get the impression he'd be hurt if I got one and didn't include ss. Thing is, ss doesn't live with us (doesn't even visit with us), and aside from that, he *has* a mother.

However, since then, I've been on the lookout for "mother's" jewelry that wouldn't obviously be mother's jewelry. If I ever come across any I like, I'd get it and just not tell DH what it was. A lot of months have more than one birthstone, so it's not a biggie.

I don't want to hurt my husband, so who should I include in my ring?
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Who do you want on the ring? I could not imagine that DH would get mad if you don't put HIS kids on YOUR ring.

Put your bios and any child you are close to. Easy enough.

I have a mother's ring that was a gift from my late husband. It was the last thing he bought me and the sad thing is I can't wear it anymore. Doesn't feel right to me. He had his stone, my son who died and my bioson put in it. Nice ring, but it feels weird to wear it now. He wanted me to have something that had that life all together.

You have to do what you want, do you really want to wear something that represents turmoil or happiness? Happiness should always win out...

Dh and I had this debate, luckily he agreed with me. SD was 10 when our oldest BD was born. Before DH and I got married, SD loved me. Ran across the room to jump on me, held hands with me, followed me around the house, the works. The "second" we got married she pulled a 180 and treated me like utter dog crap from then on out. I am not exaggerating. Kids "love" me. SD was/is the exception, and her actions were absolutely deliberate.

So when oldest BD was born, DH got me a necklace with a charm representing first BD. SD immediately started complaining to him that I should have a charm on my necklace for her. To his credit, he did not go buy one or try to guilt me into doing it. Second BD was born three years later, SD was then 13, DH bought me a second charm and SD brought it up again to DH that I should have HER on that necklace.

Her treatment of me just got worse and worse over the years, and every day I am GLAD she is not on my necklace. And appalled at the gall that would make her think she was entitled to be on that necklace while treating me the way she does/did.

Get what YOU want, nobody else.