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Communication with BM - a breakthrough of sorts!

stepmom31's picture

Submitted by stepmom31 on Tue, 11/03/2009 - 11:25pm

So DH isn't around, and so for about the 3rd time ever, I got to communicate with the Ex but making it look like it comes from him of course! This means spelling errors and typos included on purpose! Blum 3

DH and I discussed, then I wrote, passed it by him and sent. When she sent a response, DH made the decision, told me, I was cool with it, then I wrote to her. I dunno why, but this seems soooo much easier on me rather than waiting around for them to talk and then to be informed. I guess it's because it really feels like DH and I are THE TEAM vs BM, rather than DH & BM working together with me just somewhere invisible on the outside until DH remembers to inform me

Kinda strange that I get this TEAM feeling now when he's far away, but I'm definitely enjoying it for the few days it's only going to last.

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NCMilGal's picture

Submitted by NCMilGal on Wed, 11/04/2009 - 5:42am

Tell him this!! I would say something like, "It was so nice to know the decisions as they were happening, rather than getting told after. My knowing what was going on didn't cause any problems, and it let me feel connected - I didn't have that tension from feeling like I'm invisible."

If I see behavior I'd like to reinforce, I always comment or compliment hoping that it'll stick.

~Trish