Step siblings with opposite visitation
What do your schedules look like with two sets of kids? Do any of you have bio kids who are out of the house with their other bioparent when your skids are there, then come back when stepkids are gone? What kind of relationship do the kids have?
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Wow that would be a crazy
Wow that would be a crazy situation to not have all the kids there all at once for any significant periods of time. Not only because there would be no essential couple time, but because it would not be conducive to family blending.
I have 3, DH has 1. It USED
I have 3, DH has 1.
It USED to be that my kids were on a rotation - they were going through some teenage sibling rivalry and it was just simpler for everyone involved to have them split up and rotating visits.
It meant that for a month I'd have either 1, 2 or 3 of my kids there every day except the second weekend (Friday afternoon through Sunday evening).
DH USED to have his son every afternoon/evening, then ss would go back to mom's for bedtime, and dh would have him each weekend.
Then we got ss full time... so there was ALWAYS a kid around, and *I* needed a break - so my kids went back to week on week off so that the off weeks, I was more "rested" and made dh do more "mom type" things. He had to cook more, etc because it was his son... I'd "have other things to do while the kids are gone".
Now, we have established a schedule that "works". All 4 kids are together every second weekend all weekend... and every second Monday & Wednesday OR Tuesday & Thursday. The kids are all together about 10 days out of the month, and then just mine an extra 4 on top of that... and just ss an extra 4 on top of that, and we now have 6 days out of the month with no kids instead of 2.
It's not been too bad, to be truthful. The last few weeks have just flown by. :?
How did your ex feel about
How did your ex feel about the schedule rotating or shifting to different weeks/weekends? Was this something you requested through court? Did the kids ask him? Im going to have to assume he's not a high conflict person.
Ex-dh and I never went
Ex-dh and I never went through the courts. We agreed to 50/50, no child support either way. We agreed week on, week off, with having first dibs on holidays on alternating years - we're both pretty flexible, so whatever. I was supposed to have them for a specific time during the holidays this year, but given that his brother was in town from across the country (comes in every 3 or 4 years) I gave him 4 days out of my week. No biggie, he does the same for me when I have family visit from out of town.
Last year, when the 2 oldest were at each others' throats more and more, it got to be almost too much. That's why we started doing a rotation. Previously, we'd been week on week off for over 10 years.
Neither of us are high conflict, and whenever we approach each other with a request like this, we come prepared with reasoning - a plan... so it's not like I said Hey ex - this is what we're doing now, or else... it was more like... hey ex.. the kids are fighting much more recently... teenage hormones and such... maybe we should try giving them a break from each other...see if spending better 1 on 1 time with them might help... so you can spend 1 on 1 time with DS while I spend 1 on 1 time with the girls, they all get together each weekend either at his place or mine, then the following week you spend 1 on 1 time with the girls and I'll spend 1 on 1 time with DS...
He wasn't a fan of it at first, but agreed to give it a try. We did it for a month, then exchanged observations. The kids were actually the ones who enjoyed it better - it was highly inconvenient both for ex and me, because we went from having 2 weeks a month for ourselves, to having 2 weekends a month to ourselves... but, in the end, it was better for the kids. We've recently gone back to week on week off all 3 at once, and they've proven themselves more tolerant of each other.
Like I said, neither of us are high conflict, but we're not batsh!t either - we reason, we're both logical, and we can both view situations objectively rather than emotionally. Neither of us has CS to hold over the other's head, we both have equal parenting "power", we both respect each other's time.... Had he said no, and provided reasons to support his No, they would have been considered by me the same way I was asking him to consider my reasons for wanting to do it.
We did all the paperwork ourselves. My mother's a family law lawyer, so she gave us a guide, we filled in the blanks with what we wanted.
And...we get along. that helps. lol
We have SS full time so my
We have SS full time so my son and his son are home ALL THE TIME at the same time.
(Sometimes my son is away for the weekend with his cousins or friends and it is nice to have a weekend to myself with no kid. This is MY OWN kid and I adore him, so I can only imagine how awful it must be to NEVER have a kid free weekend.)
humm if you are young and you
humm if you are young and you meet your prince on the white horse, you start a family, and you stay married for ever, then you have your children every night and every week-end lol,
SO had Aergia full time and I had Deigma full time, then I send Deigma off to boarding school cause he was on his way of turning into a brat... we only had them both holidays full time and no problems, I dealt with it like I would....
no child will ever be the boss in my house and make decisions, they can wait till they live in their own places, they pay for...
when DH and I first got
when DH and I first got married, he had EOWE and extended time around school breaks and summers. I had the Things at home and my daughter was in college. The Things were week on week off with Asshat, so I would have one week with the Things and DH and then DH would go to MedusaTown that weekend. DH and I bought a condo in MedusaTown due to the distance between that town and my town. The next week was just DH and me
Once DH got custody of the skids, my boys would be in the house one week and out of the house the next. The skids were aaaaallllllllwwwwaaaayyyyyssssss home.
DH has SStwinsA&B13 EVERY
DH has SStwinsA&B13 EVERY W/Th/EOFri-->weekend. I have DS13 and DD12 most days during the week, but that does change during hockey season as ExH is DS's coach and he keeps him after late practices, which he has at least twice each week and EOW.
DS5 is ours so he's here all the time of course! So they are like ships passing in the night at times, especially with all activities, etc........but it is routine and it has been like this for almost nine years.
Now that BM is talking about trying to get full custody again, even though she works in NYC for half of each week, it may change if she can find a judge who will grant that }:)