Not music to my ears (part 3)
For those that may have missed it or don't know of my situation, here is a quick recap. My boyfriend of 4 years is the father of 8 children, all from the same woman (crazy ex wife). Ages range from 12-18. About six months ago, six of the children moved in with us full time. They are mostly estranged from their mom, who they said was abusive. Prior to them moving in, we saw them sporadically. It was just my boyfriend , me and our two cats in our nice quiet home. I had a good relationship with most of the kids, and they were ok to me. But then they all unexpectedly moved in late last summer. My life has been a roller coaster ever since. Although they are basically good kids at heart, they are destructive teenagers who sing loudly and jump around all the time. It's been horrible for someone like me, who values peace and quiet time at home. I have done my best to adjust, but it's so hard without the support of my boyfriend. He's basically told me I need to be around them all the time and start acting like a mother. I have been praying for a reprieve. I love my boyfriend and have worked hard on our relationship. Things came to a breaking point when the kids were careless and left one of the cats out of the house. No one ever admitted guilt or said they were sorry. I couldn't stand to look at them or be around them, because I was so hurt. My other cat was also devastated at losing his brother. He's been crying a lot, and there's still no real sign of our cat two months later. My boyfriend I guess was losing patience with my grieving cycle. He has said he and the kids don't understand me for loving an animal so much. He's called me "crazy" and "selfish". To ease the pain of losing my cat, I wanted to bring home another cat. (As I write this, it sounds like a bad idea !) But I have good intentions. I wanted my other cat who is at home to have a friend again. Plus, I thought maybe this could be a chance for the kids and me to start over. They do like animals to a certain degree, and the younger kids were excited about the chance to bring home a new cat. In the meantime, my boyfriend has gotten meaner and meaner. He had said no more cats. I hoped I could break him down. I took two of the kids to a cat shelter last weekend. When my boyfriend found out, he was livid. He texted me that he would replace me with a "kid friendly" girlfriend and kick out my cat and I. He got drunk after work and didn't home until later. He wouldn't tell me where he had been. Then he got in my face and started lunging at me, making me repeat to him that I would never bring another cat into the house. I was scared. He finally fell asleep and has never apologized. Friends, please help me. I'm at a loss yet again. Thank you.
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Comments
OMG! Your stbx, and it is
OMG! Your stbx, and it is stbx, right? He is abusive. There is no d*ck in the world that would make it worth living in that swirling vortex of sh*t! To lose one of my superior beings due to those freaks is a deal-breaker.
OMG! Get out of there! Take your remaining superior being (and yes cats are way above humans), and go. Your dream of having your own baby and losing a cat and the noise and the mocking from your SO is ridiculous.
Oh, and don't bring another
Oh, and don't bring another poor innocent kitty into that situation. The kitty will just get kicked out, left out or end up with a broken limb from the jumping around and carelessness.
Who is sbtx? Never mind ! I looked it up!
Thank you for the advice! I appreciate your kind words !
Right? Get out OP, just go
Right? Get out OP, just go with your cat and find some peace!
SO, he can bring 8 pieces of
SO, he can bring 8 pieces of bagagge to the home and you can't bring a 2nd cat as a companion for the cat his bagagge lost? WTH?
THis is an extremelly abusive situation. Call a DV center when he is away from the house, move your things/papers and get a protection order immediately. Go into hiding or move to another state if you have to, go to your family/friends if you can, if not the shelter can take you and help you get on your feet.
A women's shelter would be a
A women's shelter would be a better place than living with this asshole. He needs to just cough up the money for a nanny, a maid, and a hooker. Nobody wants to deal with his dysfunction.
LEAVE! He can find her kid
LEAVE! He can find her kid friendly girlfriend while you are happy away with your kitties. No one deserves to live in the situation you are living, you deserve better <3
I agree, NOBODY should be
I agree, NOBODY should be subjected to this situation with 8 damn kids.....what a selfish ahole- I know if I procreated that much no way in hell would I want ANY person to put up with my choices. Raise your kids alone, and as said, get a hooker nanny and maid. Geesh, hon...you really need to run. Wait to get another kitty until you are established, that is if you don't find your missing one, there is always hope!
Have you posted on all FB groups of missing pets in your area? Nextdoor is used a lot in some areas also. I'd check shelters within a certain large radius to ensure he wasn't turned in. I'm sorry you are going through this. Time to pack up and go.
Are you afraid of living
Are you afraid of living alone? I never did until 18 months ago, and I am in my early 50s. Don't be afraid, it's awesome. I love living alone so much, that when DH dies, I'm going to stay single. And I can't even have cats, because DH visits sometimes and he is allergic. You can have cats, that's even better.
Do it, you won't regret it. I promise. Take the step. Find your own place today.
You're fritting away your earnings on a loser. Save that money for cruises. Make some lady friends and go with them. Live your best life.
This guy is at best AWFUL at
This guy is at best AWFUL at worst abusive. You do NOT need to endure this. Please be brave and think about what is best for you. You got this. We are all here for you.
Well it got worse
I mentioned in your previous posts that things would more than likely get worse and they did.
1. No kitties until you move out.
2. Move out.
3. Dont mention anything to your "boy" friend. Just leave. He sounds abusive and mean and so you need to protect yourself.
4. See #2.
5. Blessings
I'm sorry.... 8 kids... 8?!!?
I'm sorry.... 8 kids... 8?!!? And they lost your cat?? That would be end game for me.
OP leave this train wreck. He gave you your answer. Let him go find a "kid friendly" girlfriend. There is so much going on here I couldn't imagine being bioless and trying to figure this out. Then add the drunken abusive behavior.
Get out now. It's all insane. Don't subject yourself to this treatment.
Take your cat and go. Life's
Take your cat and go. Life's too short to spend with a bunch of teens and an abusive guy. Just leave him. Try to do it when he's not around and take as much of your stuff as you can. If you have to go back for more, don't go alone.
Go on take the kitty and run.
Go on take the kitty and run... Lyrics sung to the chorus of: Take The Money And Run - The Steve Miller Band
Go back and read your post.
Go back and read your post. What would you tell your best friend if this was her life? Would you tell her to just work harder to be "kid-friendly" because she sure has landed a great guy? I'm guessing not. Please find a therapist to figure out why you haven't already run like the wind from this abusive man. He's taken your peace and quiet, your sanity, and your cat - and he blames YOU for it. Get the hell out of there.
BTW, my dog died last July and I still grieve for her. People who loves animals are not defective, they are compassionate. Kick him and his brood out.
You need to leave, you are
You need to leave, you are being used as a surrogate mom for his kids. You are being used and abused. He doesn't want to be with you for who you are, but what you can do for him and his kids.
Unless you are willing to spend the rest of your life conceding to his every demand he will never be happy. Even then he will just keep adding more demands on you. Nothiyou ever do will be good enough. You will never be good enough.
Leave it is only going to get worse.
A "kid friendly gf"?!
A "kid friendly gf"?! HAHAHAHAHA
To that many kids? Good luck, my dude! He's gonna be single for a hot minute.