Thoughts
O kay so you all know about ss getting expelled from school. He has been here for 2 days now. All is good for the time being. Then out of left field comes this. Bm called and said that she thinks it is time for him to go back over there. I have been talking to this boy about what he done. I was finally making progress and then she wants him back over there. When he goes it will all be over all the good things I put in him will be gone. She does not have the time for him, he has 2 brothers ages 9 & 1, along with 1 sister age 3. But it is time for child support to be given so I guess she needs to make it look like she wants him. It must be so nice giving women a bad name, and making a living on your back. I have to much morals for that. How do you get 4 kids for 4 different men???? I guess I just needed to vent. I am sorry if all of this sounds so rough, and if it rambles but I just needed to say it before it ate me alive.
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Frustrating isn't it?
They send the child to you because they can't handle them, but the minute they need money, they suddenly miss them too much to let them stay with you. I wish I had some words of wisdom to fix this, but all I can say is to remember that you and DH are providing your SS with a stable, loving home when he is with you and hopefully he will realize that your life is far better than hers.
Don't feel bad about venting here; it is the only thing that keeps me sane, too.
marika
Oh, yeah...
The money call... yep, been there too! Finally, we got a handle on it through court.
It's really rough, and frustrating, but the best you can do is simply be the stable safety net that your SS needs and deserves. Believe me, stability is the best for kids, and while he may not know it know, he certainly will when he gets older.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
Thank you & marika for ya'll
Thank you & marika for ya'll words of wisdom, today I can really use them!!:)
Oh, and by the way...
My SS's BM, had three kids, the forth one is on the way... literally, will be here on Saturday or Sunday... by three different daddies, but at least the third fellow she got to marry her and my SD's BM had two from two different fellows, and she's not married to either one, nor seeing either one... one being my DH obviously.... so, it seems to be a common thing these days. And I on the other hand, was always taught that you waited until you were married... guess I'm old fashion now.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
can't you get custody
can't you get custody, I believe that the school would back you on this. I had to talk to school about things like this before behavior and attendance and they said that they would get involved and write letters if certain situations became problems.
Custody
The custody thing is what we are hoping for, but where we live as long as the bm provides food, shelter,clothes,etc there is nothing we can do(we have tried 5 times)adn denied by a judge all 5 times. My ss wants to come live here, but he wants to be here due to the fact that there are no children here. Which DH & I are trying to have a child. So I am not sure after the baby is born he will want to stay. Bm has already on several occasions said she would let him come live with us, but someone always changes here mind. Her family remindes he of the money she will be losing out on. BM has already jumped him into 4 schools in the last 2 years, this year he finally did all she let him do. She had to go to court because he missed a total of 25 days of school. Got sent home 5 times, then finally got expelled. She is finally seeing that with no punishments that he will continue to do it.
lets talk ..... can I help
what state do you live in? Have you talked to the school will they back you in court, will they write a letter for you or will their attorneys back you, and if he has missed that much school has it been consecutively and how come they have not contacted DSHS or CPS already?
Oh girl
Let me tell you all of it. People have been called. OCS has gone to his house on numerous occasions. Everyhting from new boyfriend spanked him, he went to school asking for ice for his butt, because the night before he got spanked for bring home 8 f's. OCS came to our house to ask if we knew anything about it. We have called child welfare on here because here water was turned off for 5 days. We live in Louisiana by the way. They did nothing except send a letter that said not evidence concerning the fact. How did they get no evidence when the boy came over here told us he had to use the restroom outside. I just don't think they even looked into it. My ss can actually tell you hao many times when he was younger that he was left with people he did not know while bm went party & did drugs. He knows what to do to fix a joint. But still the judge says that she is fit ti be a mom.