More on the private school debate and bm still is a sucky loser
I get home today and dh is quick to inform me that SS13 has informed him that there is financial aid available for the private high school that he wishes to attend. (back story: SS is a c student, at best and is attending the private k-8 school that my bios have attended since pre K). Dh again tells SS that SS will need to ask bus mother for tuition assistance before we will even discuss it.
I have dd12 who will be heading off to hs the year after ss13. My ex and I have made their education a priority. I made ss13's education a priority when we blended our families. My three children are extremely bright and do well in school. Ss13 is lazy, not the sharpest and blows off school when he can.
Dh and I have agreed that SS will do well in the local public high school where there is a multi media program and several sports programs that will work well for him. SS has asked several times for dh to enroll/apply for the private school but dh has basically blown him off, asking SS to ask bm to lay for half. (this may seem inappropriate to some, but bm has money to lay for xboxes but no money to lay for child support or school supplies - go figure).
I had a talk with BD today about the next placement for our 3 kids. Our middle son is ASD and our dd is ADd. I think dd could do ok in high school but middle son will need a special placement or home schooling.
I spoke with exH a bit today about HS which is still over a year away for bd. I brought it up to dh and he flipped over h idea that my kids could possibly go to private while his (lazy, poor performing) son would be stuck at he public hs. I tried to discuss that the public school would be a great placement for him given their media program and ss's Interet in that and their sports teams. Dh said that "lazy" SS would never make it on any sports teams, but he was still pissed about the thought of my kids getting to go to private.
I do understand his concern. I also think he's pretty clear on his son's commitment And abilities.
So frustrating
Not what I thought our blended family issues would be about.
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So dh decided to pull up his
So dh decided to pull up his big boy panties and actually ask bm if she can help with tuition (rather than leaving it all up to SS to ask bm about it). BM's response:
I'm sorry. In a single mom with low income. I barely have enough to get my own place. Public school was good for us.
B A R F
Are you even allowed to call yourself a "single mom" when you abandon your son for 7 years and then work back up to EOWe visits now Taft he's 13?
well it's up to mom and dad
well it's up to mom and dad where the kid goes to school and whether they fund it. you and your xh are funding your kids schools. it'd be dif if your dh was paying for your kids and not his own.
I agree partly. However SS is
I agree partly. However SS is only a C student when we do not include his Incomplete marks that he receives in 1-2 subjects. The school is small and the teachers are nice and hesitant to give D/F grades. He got them last year and he hit them again this year.
SS wants to attend the private school at $1500 per month. And no, I won't be footing that bill. I've paid (at my family's expense) the $770 bill pet month both this year and last, only to have him blow it off.
True. A child should not have to address this type of things with the parents. But bm is not a "parent". Dh has a restraining order against her, as she has put tacks under his tires (so they'll pop while he's driving - not really sure why a mother would do this to get child's ONLY caretaker , but again, she's not really a "parent"). It's a very high conflict situation. Dh has just chosen to cease all communication. Maybe she will continue to exercise her visitation and maybe she'll disappear again.
He reached out, so his conscience is now clear regarding asking bm.
My talk with dh prompted him
My talk with dh prompted him to pull up the school website and begin his own investigation.
Dh can certainly continue down that path if he chooses. Typically dh does nothing so this is a welcome change.
Dh is also currently NOT working and we've been looking forward to the financial relief in June when SS finishes private middle school.
Sounds like your DH needs to
Sounds like your DH needs to learn how to parent better. No matter whether he WANTS to communicate with BM or not, she IS the other bio parent. You do NOT put the children in the middle to carry messages. That's like a cardinal rule in healthy divorced families.
Secondly, YOU and the FATHER of YOUR children are taking care of business, education-wise, and doing what you feel is best.
DH and BM will have to do what THEY feel is best for SS.....and FUND it. Not just expect YOU to fund it for them. You'd think that they would have scholarships for less fortunate families. If he is out of work and BM is not paying support, your SS might have a chance at that. But that is on the BIOS to figure out. NOT YOUR KID, NOT YOUR PROBLEM