As if th BM bs was not enough
Exh (bio dad to my three) has had two step grand parent pass away recently. It is also the one year anniversary of MY dad's passing, which dd13 took extremely hard (went to counseling, mourned profusely, etc)
My Sm, brother, sister and me and my hub and kids are having a special event tomorrow night to commemorate the event, remember his life, etc. I invited my ex. He is super touchy - feely. Was at the memorial mourning and participating. Which was fine. He loved my dad. He is the father to my children and cares.
Funny thing is that his step grand dad (which i met and knew 15 years ago when we married for our 10 year marriage) passed away recently. He asked to bring the kids to the memorial. My daughter sobbed and asked me to attend with her. I respectfully asked him if that would be kosher yet he had no response.
The event for my father will be a small event at my home tomorrow night. An Irish wake! Drinks, food and lots of stories about dad. I invited the ex more so for my kids.
The event is tomorrow. He texted asking if he could also bring sm. Sm did not attend the funeral last year. (Even though she's been around for 7 years). My response to ExH was that I needed to check with SM as it was her event. I also asked if he had an update as to whether I was able to accompany dd13 to his step grand dad's memorial in Friday
He said he hadn't spoken with his sm yet. He had hoped to speak with dd14 this weekend but didn't and he'd get back to me.
Of course I will graciously extend the invitation to sm to attend the small memorial event at my home tomorrow. Of she would like to sit here, remember my father with me, my single siblings and my children then please do.
Of course I think the same should be extended to me. I will be attend nigh step grand dad's event in support of my daughter who has suffered immense loss this last year and is struggling. He seems to think that I am indispensable as the mother. He has no idea and is delusional.
That's all. I'm going to stop now.
Support me or let me have it. I'm listening.
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Comments
Personally I think it's time
Personally I think it's time to get divorced. Although I've never been in your position. I am very sorry for the losses
Agree. I don't actually wNt
Agree. I don't actually wNt ExH at my home for the event but my dd13 has had a very difficult time with it. ExH had a great relationship with my dad and Exh has asked several time about when we'd be spreading the ashes as I think he wanted to be involved.
I also don't particularly want to attend a grand dad's memorial. But my daughter cried to me and asked me to go with her. So I asked the ex.
I get that sm is probably over Exh and his involvement in my family and Exh probably asked him to bring her. That being said, she did not attend the memorial and I don't really think it's her place to attend the intimate gathering tomorrow.
As I said though, I'll let him know they are both welcome, will reiterate that it will be an intimate dinner and see what happens.
I personally love that you
I personally love that you and x are close and share your family losses. My dad passed about 6mo after I was divorced. My x came to our hometown, stayed with me and my mom and sister, we shared a room, he helped me get ready and care for our kids, he held me as I cried and stood at the casket with me. he sat with family and was listed in the obit.
When my mother passes, he and his new wife will attend. They are part of our family. They have attended kids games and meets and recitals and competitions over the years and were seated next to my mom and me and my husband.
his parents, before they got really bad with alzheimers, were my 'other parents' we were very close, they sent cards, called his gfs and new wife my name for a while to be ornery. made no bones about me being their fave ever and for the others not to get too comfy. They won't know if I'm there or not of course, but for my xdh, I'll probably attend with my husband.
Thank you. My ex and I do
Thank you. My ex and I do consider each other family.
It's still difficult and hard. My family welcomes him with open arms while certain members of his family do not feel the same towards me. It just seems as though the same standard is not withheld for me.
As I said, I'll gladly welcome them both to my home to partake in the celebration. But he is not able to request that I be there for an event that my dd is clearly requesting my support at.