You should start reminding yourself of something good about you everyday. Today is a great hair day, today I walked a mile at the park, today my face looks healthier. Find something. Then build on that. As for BM2 you need to stop comparing yourself because y'all are two different people who have made different lifestyle choices and have different standards and goals. I'm also overweight from having BS 9 months ago and when I was pregnant I compared myself to BM because she didn't gain as much weight as I did but the reality is that she didn't gain weight because she was already overweight, I was borderline on target to underweight so of course I gained more and it was noticeable. I think you should try putting some exercise in your life-not to lose weight but for peace of mind. I never felt as great in my life as when I was going to the gym to workout. It clears stress, releases endorphins (makes you happy) and it keeps your mind busy. When you start seeing changes in your body your self esteem will pick up. Can you imagine how awesome it will feel to be a woman with 2 masters who's also healthy and happy? It can happen you just need to cut out negative self talk and comparisons.

Depends on the day. Like you, the BM in my life is not a hot mess. She's no supermodel, but she's in better shape than me and I have complete garden envy (I have a black thumb and her garden looks like elves designed and tend it).

One thing that helped me in college was writing fiction. I'd write a story (sometimes just in my head, but sometimes on paper) about a heroine that was my ideal. And sometimes the heroine would be overweight and asthmatic, but have brains or magic to make up for it. One of my favorite authors once said that the world needs fiction to give us hope. In fantasy fiction good always wins in the end, no matter how dark things are in the beginning or middle, and the hope that real life can turn out good in the end is what pushes us on.

Another thing that has helped me tremendously is sharing my self-consciousness about my body with DH. I've never told anyone how I truly feel about my body other than him. I grew up as a skinny kid but puberty slowed my metabolism to a crawl. My grandma was a model and she used to comment about how hard it was. My mom always talked about how thin she used to be. At 80, my grandma is a size 10 and complaining that she's overweight. My mom is also a 10 now, but when I was in high school and gaining weight she was a 6. I told DH about it, and how I hated my body and felt bad that he got stuck with me. DH has been a true rock. He will comment on his "sexy wife" out of the blue, and take advantage of any bit of kid-free time. And ever since I told him how I felt about me, he has never said anything negative about my body - not my clothes, diet, snacks, nothing. Everything is "my sexy wife." If I share a negative feeling, DH will support me, but will not agree with me. Having DH, who's opinion I value above everyone else's, tell me he loves my body helps more than I ever thought it would. And if I ever get really down DH comes in and starts listing all the reasons he loves me, which includes my body.

Can you talk to your DH honestly about your insecurity and how those unintentional slights bother you? Once you get your self-esteem back on its way up, the unintentional comments slide off. I've noticed that I used to take some things DH said negatively, when that wasn't what he had in mind. It was my own insecurity coloring his comments. Once I accepted that he loved me as I am, I realized that the comments he makes that I thought were unconscious digs were actually not aimed at me at all. It might be the same for you.

Life isn't a competition. When you compare yourself to others , YOU are the judge, YOU are the one hurting yourself. You will never be anyone but yourself, so be kind to yourself. And you should be pumping yourself up. Your DH may have been with models in the past (high standards) but now he loves YOU. Most guys don't go from a model to some plain Jane so you are prettier than you are giving yourself credit for. And if BM2 was all that he would still be with her.

You know that saying about beauty being on the inside it's true. Some gorgeous people become hideous the minute they open their mouth. And I have a BFF who is not that pretty, until she speaks then she is HOT. The more you get to know her the more she oozes sexy. But again she is not that pretty.

Figure out your strengths and give yourself a shout out about them everyday. Remember you already have you DH. Forget about his past. You cannot change it but you can choose to let it go and to let it stop hurting you.