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something i don't understand, maybe you can elighten me

somerg's picture

i've been reading over some posts and this came to mind and maybe you guys can enlighten me?

why is it that "step siblings" call eachother sissy or bubba (brother or sister) but when it comes to the step parent.....they barley exist or they are sure to say STEPmom/dad. my skids do that, and i havn't really made a huge deal about it but they call my dd sissy (no step to it) but when i have friends come over or i introduce them to someone i know they are sure to make it know that i'm STEPmom

i was a child of divorce, and had 2 step dad's and 2 sets of siblings, and never ONCE were they MY SIBLING they were STEP cause i felt if i wasn't there (beyond step) for step dad, i sure as hell wasn't going to be there for his ungratful asshole kids.

any thoughts?

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StepToBe's picture

That could be... I've never thought about it before, but I call my step brother "my step brother", but I call my half brother "my brother". But for me, the difference is that my step brother was abusive and messed up. His dad poisoned him to my dad and stepmom (PAS), so he was very toxic and ended up moving out after a few years to live with his dad. He grew up to be a very toxic adult. My half brother, on the other hand, was and is a sweetheart. I took care of him when he was younger and now he fixes things around my house for me!

Rags's picture

I think that "blood is thicker than water" thing applies. Though your BKs are as much yours as they are DHs, to the Skids your BKs are family where they may feel that you are not.

My SS refers to his SpermIdiot half sibs as his "sister" and "brothers" with no mention of the half part. But, he also refers to himself as an only child. He was raised as an only child by his mom and I. I think that his relationship with his sibs allows him to have a quality relationship with people in his SpermClan rather than having to engage with people in the clan that he has no respect for. He and the three younger half sibs are very supportive and protective of each other in direct counterpoint to their "father". When speaking to each other about him they refer to him as "your father" or by his first name and never as "our dad" or "my dad".

Maybe it is a self preservation thing for them in a difficult situation. Even in a situation that in reality is not difficult for a kid with a strong family environment in one of their parents home where there is a strong marriage they may find a closeness to half sibs to be comforting.

If I am making any sense at all.

Best regards,

Dudes Mom's picture

My sd calls me mom and when she introduce me to someone she says this is my mom. But I raised her since the age of 3, and then my ss calls me aunty but he introduce me as his mom aswell.
BM had a huge temper tantrum when she saw on both their facebook profiles they had me listed as their mother. I wonder what they introduce her as?